Page 142 of On the Double

As he picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist, never letting my lips leave his. I was desperate for one last time with him, to feel him inside me and know there was something between us, even if I was the only one who felt it.

He laid me down on the bed, quickly working my pants off. His hot breath skimmed over my flesh, heating up the room faster than a flame. But when he grabbed my hips and tried to roll me over, I stopped him.

“Not tonight. Just…make love to me tonight.”

I could feel his terror as I pressed my hand to his heart. But he nodded and lowered his lips to mine, gently pushing inside me. His lips were everywhere, kissing my neck and breasts, his hands caressing me. He was better at this than he knew, and it was exactly what I needed to feel like I could make it from here on out alone.

With every pump of his hips against mine, I held him tighter. And when he gripped my leg and pulled it up against his stomach, I felt him even deeper inside me. Every second was pure bliss.

My breath hitched as he buried himself inside me and stared into my eyes. For whatever reason, this felt like the end, but not only for me. It was as if he could read my mind. He knew something was different—that I was saying goodbye.

He spilled his cum inside me, panting hard as he gently pressed his lips to mine. My eyes slid closed as I memorized the feel of his lips against mine one last time. Then I choked back a sob and reminded myself this was always meant to turn out this way.

36

EDU

“We wereable to take down the rest of the cartel,” Cash announced, “and I was able to secure a meeting with Senator Kavanaugh.” His gaze flicked to the younger Kavanaugh, but it wasn’t a happy one. “The Senator, being the upstanding man that he is, agreed to help us…on one condition.”

Kavanaugh glanced around the room, chuckling at the situation. “Let me guess, the price is me.”

Cash nodded. “Since this avenue is closed, we’ll move on to?—”

“I’ll do it,” Kavanaugh stated, sitting upright.

That surprised the hell out of all of us.

“No,” Cash shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, but this is not what I had in mind when I went to your father. I was hoping he would help out of the goodness of his heart.”

Kavanaugh laughed at that. “I could have told you that was a worthless effort. He doesn’t have a heart. But if you want answers, this is how we get them.”

“No,” Cash said firmly. “I won’t compromise?—”

“It’s not your choice to make. It’s just another job, right?” Kavanaugh shrugged. “So, let’s get it done and get the information we need.”

Cash gave a reluctant nod. “Thank you.”

“It’s what we do for each other.”

It’s what we do for each other.

Those words rang in my head as the meeting progressed. We did a lot of shit for each other. In fact, I would say I’d give my life for any one of these guys, so why was it so fucking hard with Harper?

Last night, she wanted a piece of me that I wasn’t willing to give, and it felt wrong, and so fucking right, all at the same time. I saw the tears in her eyes— like she was upset that I wasn’t willingly handing over this piece of myself to her. And it fucking gutted me to know that I was hurting her so badly. She wanted more of me, and I didn’t know how to do that.

I was reaching the point in our relationship that I had to make a decision. I knew what I had to offer wasn’t enough. It would never fucking be enough. So I had to either walk away or give her something bigger. But what that was, I didn’t know.

The ring.

Fucking hell. Was I ready for something like that? Could I really put that ring on her finger and mean it? What if I fucked it all up? What if I promised to be with her, and then the minute things got hard, I screwed it all up?

What if I turned out like him?

“You’re just fucking like me,” he taunted. “You always will be.”

“I’m nothing like you. I could never do what you do and live with myself.”

My old man smirked at me, his lips snarling in a twisted, fucked up look that scared the shit out of me. This man was capable of so much, and he didn’t even care when he hurt anyone. That much was clear by what he did to me on a daily basis. But now…

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