Page 20 of Places I've Never Been

Adam followed Mattie out and shut the door on whatever he said next. “What’s wrong?”

Mattie pressed her lips together, as if she were trying to keep words from slipping out. Finally, she huffed out a sigh and spoke. “The words are saying one thing, but the melody and, wellyou, are saying another. Did you write this song? What was the inspiration?”

Adam’s jaw tightened. He didn’t want to fight with her because he didn’t want to chase her away. But at the same time, what was she trying to say? That he was a lousy songwriter?

“I cowrote it with Johnny J, but the inspiration was his. It’s about his daughter, Trisha. She was diagnosed with leukemia last year.”

“Oh.” Mattie’s hand flew to her chest, and the stiff, professional mask dissolved. It made her look instantly younger. More real. “I’m so sorry. I thought it must be something like that.”

Adam gestured at the couch. “Why are you asking? You didn’t like the lyrics?”

“No, no. It’s not that.” Mattie sat down and waited for him to join her. Then she turned her earnest, expressive eyes on him. “Okay, for this song to work you have tofeelwhat he feels. You can’t just sing it like it’s about a breakup or fling or whatever, which is what it sounded like just then. The words are full of pain and fear, and you looked…I don’t know. Happy isn’t the right word. Determined, maybe. Anyway, it’s disjointed. And the beat is a little too fast. Try softening it a little. Really put yourself into his mind, you know? I mean, think about it. How would you feel if it was one of you who was diagnosed with something like that?”

Adam glanced through the glass at his brother. The guys were all laughing, probably at him. He imagined one of them missing, not in the way Johnny J was, but in a final, never-coming-back, can’t-email-or-call kind of way. He wasn’t sure the band could continue if they lost someone like that. “I’d feel horrible.”

Mattie nodded. “Right. So feel that.Thensing it. Here, let me show you what I mean.”

She stood up and led the way into the studio.

He followed, curious. He thought hehadbeen putting those feelings into the words. The song echoed the heartache and terror Johnny J had felt when he heard about his little girl. The two of them had spent a long night drinking, talking, and writing this song. A couple of days later, Johnny J walked out. It was impossible not to think about that night whenever he sang it. How could he possibly put more feeling into it?

Mattie smiled at everyone and stepped up to one of the backup mics. “If you don’t mind, I’ll take the first, you take the second, and then we’ll hit the last bit together?”

“Sure.” Adam pulled the song up on one of the studiotablets and handed it to her, then nodded at Flynn. “Slower this time, okay?”

Flynn nodded and started them off again, about 3/4 time. The rest of them picked up the new pace, and the song took on a softer, more mellow undertone that hadn’t been there before.

When Mattie sang in her rich, high alto, her face transformed into the ethereal vision he remembered. She sang the first two lines with such intensity that he could hear exactly what she’d meant. He hadn’t allowed himself to sink that far into the song, because the truth was it brought him too close to tears. He didn’t want to cry in front of everyone over a song. It wasn’t his style.

When it was his turn, he tried to match her, but he could tell by the look on her face that he still wasn’t doing it right as far as she was concerned.

Then the second line hit him like a sucker punch to the gut, and suddenly he was with Johnny J in the doctor’s office, trying to comfort his little girl and his wife while feeling out of control himself.

He and Mattie sang the last two lines together, and it became a struggle to make it through. When they hit the end of the first verse, he stopped, expecting her to do the same, but she didn’t. She followed along with the lyrics on the tablet and kept singing. Her face turned dreamy, her voice filled the room, and he was transported to a concert where he was the audience of one and she was the only person on stage.

Sweet thing, I promise you

You’ll go running through the flowers

You’ll go dance away the hours

You’ll go out on dates, and get your first real kiss.

You’ll slide down a pile of rainbows

You’ll spend days in distant castles,

You’ll spend nighttime snuggled up with your best friends

We will make it through this darkness and come out

Stronger than we ever could pretend

Girl, I hope you understand

I won’t let it be the end.

Mattie punchedevery line with hopeful optimism, and they followed along with her, pushing the song into a celebration of life that left Adam feeling triumphant. He’d never noticed that about the lyrics before. That spirit belonged to Johnny’s little girl.

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