Page 75 of Just This Once

My eyes closed.

With him facing the living room and me facing the kitchen, he lowered his face over my shoulder until his nose was nearly buried in my hair. Without saying a word, he lifted his hand and wrapped one of my curls around his finger. I could hear his breathing in my ear, feel his warmth radiating against my arm.

Just when I turned my face in toward his, he dropped the lock of hair abruptly and stepped away.

Without a word, he strode toward the exit, and I kept my back to him; my eyes remained closed until I heard the door open.

“Oh, for the love of God,” I muttered, my shoulders wilting as soon as it closed. Then I wrapped my arms around my stomachand fell into a chair at the table, shaking uncontrollably and wondering what I’d just gotten myself into.

Forget liver failure.Parkerwas going to be the end of me; I was sure of it.

And still, I hoped he gave me a yes by Sunday morning, anyway.

19

HOPE

Inever ended up getting a tattoo the next day. I was too nervous waiting for Parker’s call. What if he rang while I was getting stabbed with a needle? I’d probably jump so hard that my pretty little flower turned out looking more like a Dementor.

My stress levels were high.

When he had laid the situation out before me—opening my eyes to what it would be like forhim—I’d kind of felt like a fool for not considering how much risk it’d put him in.

But no matter how much I regretted the offer, I still couldn’t bring myself to call him and tell him it was off the table.

I mean, he probably couldn’t even give me an orgasm, I tried to tell myself. No one else had. It was completely possible that penile penetration just couldn’t get me off. But I could only think that thought for a second before snorting aloud.

Yeah right. Parker damn near made me come by just looking at me. No way could henotgive me an orgasm during sex. I was a weak, pathetic girl who couldn’t keep from wanting to put her hands all over her brother’s best friend.

Two more days passed with me rocking these guilty, contradictory emotions—one minute wanting nothing to do with Parker Ohrley and the next justwantinghim.

Still lacking an appetite but knowing I needed to eatsomething, I went to the grocery store midmorning on Friday.

I was filling my cart with liver-friendly nutrients, like grapefruits, papayas, tomatoes, tofu, lemons, and fish when my phone buzzed with an incoming text.

Hoping it was Alec and not Dr. Paul with anothermessagefrom my mother, I was reaching for a can of black olives on the shelf when I saw Parker’s name.

Tonight, 7pm, my place.

“Holy shit.” I dropped the can of olives, and it started to roll across the floor.

When it bumped into the walker of an elderly woman who had a small basket full of bread and bananas, I lurched into action, hurrying forward to retrieve my olives.

“Sorry,” I gushed, rushing to pick up the can. “I’m such a clumsy goof. But I just learned I was going to have my first orgasm tonight, and now my brain is just?—”

Oh, crap. Tonight? No, no, no. I was in no way prepared for sexualanythingstonight. I had so much landscaping to do, it’d probably take a whole pit crew hours just to trim the hedges.

“You should get some oranges, then,” the woman said, in a sweet, great-grandmotherly voice.

“Hmm?” I looked up, having forgotten that she was there.

She smiled a mouthful of false teeth at me. “Vitamin C keeps the sexual organs happy.” Bobbing her head astutely, she added, “I read it in a magazine article.”

“I…” My mouth dropped open as I wondered what the heck she was talking about until— “Oh my God,” I exclaimed, covering my mouth. “I’m so sorry. Did I say I was going to have sex out loud?”

She giggled, clearly tickled by my reaction. “I’m afraid so, dear.” Reaching out her liver-spotted hand, she added, “And don’t you apologize for it. I’d sing it from the rooftops if I knew I was going to have another orgasm again.” Smiling dreamily, she sighed. “I’d give anything for a little of your youth.”

I tipped my head jealously, wanting to tell her I’d give anything for all her years of life and experiences.

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