Page 103 of Just This Once

“Good God,no,” I blurted. “I can’t tell him that. He absolutely cannot know. Ever.”

My brother laughed. “Why not?”

“It was never supposed to be serious. Or permanent.”

“But if that changed for you, maybe it changed for him too.” He nudged my arm with encouragement. “The only way to find out is to have that conversation.”

“But he can’t feel that way about me,” I insisted. “He just…can’t. No matter what.”

His eyebrows scrunched together in question. “Why not?”

Out of everyone in Alec’s seven group who’d lost someone close to them, it was common knowledge that Parker had struggled through the grieving process the hardest. No way could he start any kind of relationship with a terminal girl. Her death would eviscerate him.

“Is he already taken?” Alec guessed.

I sighed in frustration. “No.”

“Then what the heck is keeping you guys from being together?”

I shook my head. “Let’s just say there is a time limit on our relationship. It can’t last.”

“What?” Alec sniffed out an amused laugh. “Is he dying or something?”

“Maybe,” I hedged uneasily and then I bit my lip. “It’s something to that effect, anyway.”

Alec’s mouth dropped open. “Oh shit,” he breathed, then he reached for my hand. “God, Hope. I’m so sorry.”

I squeezed on his fingers and then leaned into him, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I rested my head on his arm and closed my eyes, sinking against him gratefully, glad I’d come to him.

Alec always made everything better.

“So what should I do?” I asked.

He was quiet a moment before he shrugged. “I saycarpe diemthe fuck out of him.”

With a shocked laugh, I pulled back. “What?”

“I’m serious,” he insisted. “Make the best of what time you two have left together. Tell him how you feel. Scream it. Don’t squander a single minute. I guarantee that you won’t regret it.”

Yeah, except then I’d have to confess to my brother that I’d slept with one of his closest friends on the planet behind his back.

Alec was my person. I didn’t think I could upset him like that.

Biting my lip, I nodded for his benefit. “Yeah, maybe,” I murmured, while secretly I decided to do the very opposite.

I had to make sure Parker stayed away at all costs so my death would have no bearing on him whatsoever.

26

PARKER

Iwoke up reaching for her.

The cool sheets that greeted my fingers instead of soft, warm woman felt all wrong, so I cracked open one eye and lifted my face.

Finding myself alone on the bed, I rasped, “Shit,” and bolted upright.

I already knew she was gone; she wasn’t just in another room. She’d left.

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