Page 16 of Blame It On the Secret Santa

“Bullshit.”

“Don’t believe it if you don’t want to. I honestly couldn’t care less.”

“See, the problem is that you do care. I can see it in the way you’re avoiding looking at me and how your lower lip keeps trembling.” I reached out and brushed my finger against it to drive home the point.

“Do you really want to know why I don’t want to sleep in your bed?” she asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Yes.”

“Because once upon a time, your bed was my favorite place to be. It was where I felt safe, and I wanted to stay there forever. Then you went and ruined it for us. Sleeping in your bed only reminds me of what we used to have and how you stole that from us with one stupid mistake. So, no, I don’t want to sleep in your bed and be tormented by memories of when we used to be happy together because those days are gone, and my heart can’t handle the hurt you caused. You being nice to me right now just further deepens the hurt because I don’t want to like you again, Sean. I don’t want to risk letting you back into my life—even as a friend—knowing the damage you can do.”

A stray tear slid down the side of her face as she quickly wiped it away.

My heart felt like it was going to explode in my chest. I wanted to tell her the truth about how none of that had ever happened, but I knew she wouldn’t believe me. She didn’t back then, and she definitely wouldn’t now. She would think I was just saying it to get my way, which was the last thing I wanted.

I shoved a hand through my hair and exhaled sharply.

“Let me grab some extra blankets, and I’ll help set up the couch for you.”

I walked out of the room before she could say anything.

Eleven

Cassidy

The tension was thickbetween us as Sean worked on piling a few pillows onto the couch and tucking in a thick blanket. I knew I had hurt him with what I said, even though that wasn’t my goal. I didn’t want to hurt Sean, but that didn’t meanIwasn’t still hurting from what happened between us. Back then, I convinced myself that I was too young to know what love felt like and that my heartbreak was so hard because I didn’t just lose a boyfriend; I lost my best friend. But deep down, I’d always wondered if he really was my first true love.

He finished what he was working on and left the room, leaving Max sitting beside me as we waited for his return. I hated that I was stuck here for the foreseeable future, especially now that we had this giant elephant in the room that neither of us wanted to deal with.

“Here, put these on. You’ll stay warmer,” Sean said, returning with a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

“I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Cassidy, I’m not in the mood to fight with you anymore tonight. Please just put these on so I can rest knowing you’re not freezing your ass off.”

I could hear the pain and frustration in his voice, so I took them and tried to smile, but it fell short. I walked past him to the bathroom and changed. It was surprising how soft and warm they were, but the worst part was that the sweatshirt smelled like him.

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