Page 170 of Hard Knot

"Well, better than the douche trying to poison Abercrombie's drink ten times."

"Oh right," James nods, as if remembering something mildly interesting. "You brought him to the ring and boxed his brains out for fun, didn't you? I was a bit drunk so I don't really remember other than you telling me to hold Eli for a sec."

I stand there, mouth opening and closing as I try to form words, looking between them like I'm watching some bizarre tennis match.

"What. The. Fuck?" I finally manage.

Dad raises his glass –when did he even get that?– in a casual toast.

"Welcome to family dinner! Come in, come in. Marissa’s already here, probably plotting your death in the dining room."

"I'm sorry," I say, holding up my hands. "Can we go back to the part where you've apparently been sending people to KILL my pack?!"

"Not kill," Dad corrects, looking offended. "Just test. Needed to know they’re worthy of protecting my Abbie." He grins at the guys. "They pass many tests! Very impressive."

"How many tests exactly?" I demand, but they're all already filing past me into the house, Dad leading the way like this is completely normal.

"Lost count," Carter says cheerfully. "But the ninja attack last month was pretty fun."

"NINJAS?!"

Now they HAVE to be bullshitting cause there ain’t no way.

"Your father has excellent resources," Felix comments, pausing to admire a painting in the foyer. "The hack attempts on our security system were particularly sophisticated."

James claps a hand on my shoulder as he passes.

"Don't worry about it, Eli. We handled it. I’ve been surviving your dad’s tactics since we were babes in school. He made some prick sabotagege my test. Remember when I got that F once. I knew from then onward, it would be a mission to stay by your side, but look, I made it."

“W.H.A.T?!” I don’t even know where to start with that. “J-J-JAMES!”

“Anyways, we’re here to enjoy. Come on, let’s admire your family home.”

"That's not the point!" I sputter, but Holmes is already sliding next to me and slipping an arm around mine, guiding me inside while James trails along with a gentle hand on my lower back.

"The poison attempts were amateur though," James says critically. "Might want to hire better chemists next time, sir."

Dad makes a dismissive gesture.

"Bah, good assassins are very expensive these days. Economy, you know?"

"Oh my god," I mutter, pressing my fingers to my temples. "This is actually happening. My father has been trying to kill my pack and everyone's just...okay with this?"

"Not kill," Dad repeats patiently. "Test. Big difference."

"How is that better?!"

"Because," Carter explains, accepting a glass of what looks like extremely expensive scotch from my father, "if he wanted us dead, we'd be dead."

"Correct!" Dad beams at him. "See? They understand! Smart boys."

I look around at them all – my father playing bartender while my pack settles into his living room like they've done this a hundred times, discussing various attempts on their lives as casually as if they're talking about the weather.

"Have you all lost your minds?" I demand.

"No, no," Dad says soothingly. "It’s normal! All fathers test daughter's pack. I just more...creative than most."

"Creative," I repeat flatly. "You call sending assassins and ninjas 'creative'?"

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