He met her gaze and said, “I love you, Cynthia. I think I have since I saw you burst into that dressing room at the church. But what I want—no, what Ineed—is for you to relinquish your dominant role.”
Fear slapped at her defenses. She didn’t want to lose this part of her character. “I-I’m not sure.”
“You know now what it means, what I need. What you need too.”
“I’m not sure you’re right, Chris.” She pulled in a shaky breath. “I understand, but I’m not sure I can give it to you.”
She untangled her hand from his. She didn’t want him to know how much he had shaken her. He reached for her, but Cynthia shook her head. If he touched her, she might just fall apart.
“No. I need…” She swallowed and closed her eyes. It took her a few moments to calm herself, to get her emotions in check. When she opened them, she gazed directly into his. “I need time. I know that I should have expected this, and I did. I just didn’t expect it so soon. I don’t know if I’m ready.”
“It is about trust, Cynthia. If you trust me, you will give me this.” Just as he did for her. He left the words unspoken, but the truth lay between them. He had trusted her enough, a Domme who was learning her way, and had accepted her. Now all he asked was if she could return that favor.
“I—”
“I need this from you. For us to be complete, we need this. I want Evan—”
“You want me to give up the power I’ve gained. Don’t you understand what that will mean for me?” The hitch in her voice when she asked the question embarrassed her. He had to know this wasn’t easy, that this could destroy her.
Without blinking, he said, “Yes.”
His confidence, his arrogance shook her. She rose from her position and gathered her purse.
“Where are you going?”
She turned back to him, trying to cling to her composure. Cynthia didn’t want him to see her anxiety. It was silly, but she wanted to hold onto her pride for a little while longer.
“I hope you understand I need time to think.” He opened his mouth to argue, but she placed her fingers over his lips. “Please. You know I understand. I’ve read more books about the subject than you probably have. I just…” She shook her head. “Give me a little time.”
She could tell from the look in his eyes, he wasn’t happy with the request, but he nodded. Rising to her tiptoes, she replaced her fingers with her mouth, trying her best to let him know that she loved him. She poured her heart, her soul, into the kiss. Slipping her tongue into his mouth, she savored the tangy sweet taste of the margaritas they’d been drinking. Before she wanted to, she drew back.
“I’ll call you.”
Again, he said nothing but nodded. She fought the urge to run back and jump into his arms, to do what he wanted, but she required this time to think.
Without another word, she walked away. Each step caused a crack in her heart, her soul. She didn’t break until she was driving down H-1. Tears scalded the backs of her eyes as she blinked to keep them from spilling over. In her life she had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable.
Concentrating on her driving, she tried her best to put her thoughts aside until she got home. There would be plenty of time to contemplate her future with Chris. She needed space to gain perspective. Still, she couldn’t quite stop the tears that continued to well up. He’d struck at the foundation she had been building since she defied her father, and she didn’t know if she would ever be able to gather the pieces back together again.
Thirty minutes later she pulled into her carport and noticed someone on her porch. When she stepped out of her car, a man stood, and her heart dropped to her stomach. Her father. She looked toward the street and saw the rental car parked beside her mailbox.
Well, today just keeps getting better.She walked up the steps to the porch but didn’t say a word. They just stared at each other, in a silent contest to see who would crack first. She was pleasantly surprised with the result.
“I was wondering when you’d get home.”
Her father’s tone held a note of censure, but she ignored it. “What are you doing here, Father?”
“I’m here to take you home.”
“I’m home now.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. This isn’t your home. Your mother has been beside herself.” The practiced sincerity in his voice sickened her. Not so much that he resorted to it so readily, but the fact she’d accepted it all her life. So needy for affection, she accepted false emotion instead of demanding the real thing.
Cynthia shook her head, sadness bearing down on her. She rode the thin edge of control. Her emotions had been out of whack since her conversation with Chris and before she’d had a chance to think about his request, her father appeared, demanding her attention. Life sucked.
“I was in Georgia for my thirtieth birthday. No one contacted me.” She sent him a disgusted look. “You don’t care about me, you care about the money I inherited.”
“It has nothing to do with the money.”