“If I’m being honest, I have no idea what to do,” she says with a dejected sigh. “This all feels so surreal. I don’t think I’ve had time to process it. I need you to start being honest with me, about everything. I need to know what I’m getting myself into, that being with you doesn’t put my grandmother at risk.”
“Of course,” I reply eagerly, now the band-aid has been ripped off I find myself wanting to confide all to Kim. “Come on, it’s been a long day and neither of us has slept much. I’ve not eaten either, and I’m guessing nor have you. Let’s go downstairs and eat, I can answer your questions there.”
“Okay, but first I need you to promise me one thing,” she says somberly.
“Anything,” I reply, wanting to do whatever I can to keep Kim in my life.
“Please, speak to Marta. At least give her a chance,” she implores me, gazing deep into my eyes.
Considering she’s giving me a chance now she’s discovered the real me, I can’t refuse this request. “I will, I promise,” I vow.
Kim nods and allows me to guide her downstairs, stealing a nervous glance back at the bathroom door as we go. My gut tells me there’s something she’s not telling me, which worries me. What could be worse than finding out your new romantic interest is a murderer and crime boss?
Chapter 31
Kimberly
To say that yesterday was eye-opening would be an understatement. My emotions this past month have been on a rollercoaster, it feels like one thing after the next keeps happening in my life. I’m sure some people would argue there’s a common denominator in all of this turmoil, Yaroslav. But really, I was the one who crashed into his car. It’s not his fault Noah hurt Gran, in fact, he was a savior in our time of need. He also had nothing to do with the fire, and it’s my fault that I messed up the dates I was due my shot. Somehow, with everything that’s happened, him being the head of a Russian Bratva doesn’t feel like that big of a deal.
I’d resolved to walk away if he lied to me last night. But he was completely open and honest, we stayed up well into the night talking and he answered all of my questions without hesitation. I can’t blame Yaroslav for the life he has led, he had no choice in the matter, just like I didn’t choose to lose my parents so young or to deal with the terrible illness eating away at Gran. Frankly, it’s a miracle that Yaroslav has turned out to be the man he is.
He was thrust into the role of a Bratva boss at only eighteen, having lost his parents two years before that. I believe he was sincere when he said he wouldn’t have chosen this life, but he felt obliged to carry on the family legacy and do as his parents wished. After last night, I feel closer to him than ever.
So why didn’t I tell him about the baby?
Maybe because I can’t actually believe I’m pregnant. Or perhaps I’m being a coward, and I’m scared of how he will react. We haven’t discussed the contract, if it’s still in place, or if our relationship has become something more. With so much to discuss, his life as a Bratva boss as well as his relationship with Marta, there simply wasn’t time to drop such an emotional bombshell on him.
He’s meeting with Marta today, along with David, if everything goes well, I’ll tell him tonight. I hope he’s as happy as I am about the baby. I can’t believe how much I already love this life inside me and how much I want to be a mother.
My phone rings, it’s Amelia, again. I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to her about the baby, I just need some time to process things, but I know she won’t stop calling until I pick up.
“Hey Amelia,” I reply wearily.
“Finally! Girl, you can’t drop bombshells on your bestie and then ghost them, I’ve been worried sick. Did you take the test, are you pregnant?” she enquires eagerly.
“I’d rather not discuss this over the phone, Amelia,” I reply cautiously, I don’t know who could overhear us, there are always so many maids and employees wandering around. I’d hate for Yaroslav to find out through idle gossip rather than directly from me.
“Oh my god, that means you are pregnant, doesn’t it!” she squeals excitedly. “Let’s meet up, when are you free?”
“I need to talk to Yaroslav first,” I hedge, trying to put her off.
“No, you don’t. This is a huge decision, you need to take time out and discuss it with your bestie first girly! It’s not like you’ve been trying for a baby or have even been together that long, how do you know he wants a kid? Or what you even want,” she insists.
I have to admit, she has a good point. I have no idea how Yaroslav is going to react, perhaps discussing it with a friend first could be good.
She senses my hesitation and barrels on, “We’ll do an early dinner, that way you can talk to Yaroslav right afterward. Meet me at five, at Antonio’s,” she says, naming the café we went to when we reconnected again. I don’t know how I would have coped with everything that had happened over the past month without knowing Amelia was there. We might have gone years without speaking, but having my childhood friend back in my life was worth its weight in gold.
“Alright, fine,” I concede.
“Awesome! I’ll see you then!” she trills before hanging up.
Perhaps I should have suggested we meet this morning instead, or even for lunch. That way I could meet her while Yaroslav is out and have more time to speak to him this evening. Just as I’m about to call her back to rearrange, my phone rings again. I don’t recognize the number, but I answer anyway, just in case it has to do with Gran.
“Hello, Kim speaking.”
“Kimmy, it’s me,” my brother Noah replies jovially.
“How did you get this number?” I ask bluntly.