Page 11 of Odette's Vow

Odysseus, on the other hand … His eyes sent a shudder through my body whenever they landed on me.

After the disaster that had been my wanderings last night, I had convinced myself that perfect compliance in Odysseus’ presence would fix the tension he aimed at me like a barbed arrow. I’m not sure why I cared, beyond not wanting to be given to another man like the one who had cornered me last night. Yet, for reasons even I could not comprehend, I had just blurted out something sure to relace the strain between us. And if anything, he seemed less irked now than earlier in the evening. It had to be a trap of some kind.

I believed my dead husband’s words that the Greeks tended to employ cunning and deceptive tactics, and that I should expect ambushes and feigned retreats from them. I felt like I was in the middle of one such ambush. Like they were trying to be normal to lull me into a false sense of security.

I still couldn’t understand why he’d asked for my name before Diomedes arrived. If it mattered to him, he might have assumed I was from an important family, but then surely he would have reacted differently when I accused him of killing my husband. It was hard to believe he simply wanted to call me something other than ‘spear-wife’. After all, he’d made it clear last night that to him, I was nothing more than property.

After I had sniped that the name ‘spear-wife’ did not suit me, I’d felt a thrill tremble up from my stomach and into my chest at the sound of his laugh. The shame of that burned more than the acid in my throat afterwards.

If I was a good wife to Alcander, a good woman, I would be repulsed by everything about Odysseus. But, repulsion seems difficult to dredge up on command. Instead, it feels as though I am falling backwards into an endless vat of molasses, unable to stop the process. Vulnerable to the all-encompassing darkness, so cloying I’m choking on it; the charade of strong men pretending to be civilised.

Perhaps that was just the stench of Diomedes’ belch.

“Well,” he said, as he washed down his last mouthful with the last drop of wine, “that was delicious. I thank you for the food and your company.” Diomedes nodded at me, the charming suave of earlier gone, before he rose. Odysseus followed suit, as did I, to avoid being the only one sitting.

“I will see you on the battlefield tomorrow, my friend.” Odysseus clasped forearms with Diomedes and then the latter left with a dramatic flourish of the tent flap.

I went to clear the table, to busy myself, when Odysseus turned his attention back to me, his eyes narrowing. “Stop.”

His look was as sharp as his tone, each word carefully aimed.

“You say I killed your husband?” he began, his eyes not leaving mine.

I could feel my spine getting straighter as he approached. In defiance or fear, I couldn’t truly say.

“Do you take me for a fool, woman?” He strode forward, smoothly and deliberately, the embodiment of controlled strength, closing the gap between us until my back hit the centre pole of the tent, the coarse wood grating against the thin fabric of my chiton and shawl, his palm flat against the wood above my head.

“I do not.” The words tumbled out before I could stop them.

Odysseus tsked. “You disobey me, you attempt to humiliate me in front of a fellow king, and now you lie to me.”

I grimaced and went to rebut, but he was already shaking his head, shushing me.

“Let’s indulge this little fantasy of yours, shall we? You accuse me of the highest grievance, yet I can’t help but notice your …fascinationwith Diomedes. You showed far too much interest in him tonight.”

Odysseus leaned in, so close our foreheads were almost touching, as his voice lowered to a menacing whisper. “Is it guilt, I wonder? Perhaps he reminds you of your dead husband? Or is it something more … strategic?”

I glowered at that, even though he was right about the latter.

“Was it to curry favour with Diomedes by painting me as a villain you can no longer stand to be around? Did you think you could loosen his tongue but not mine? Is that it? Are you seeking a new master?”

I didn’t answer, my eyes furiously darting between his, trying to understand his meaning.Why didn’t he believe he had killed my husband? Was he really that arrogant? That obtuse?

He straightened, his expression becoming one of contemptuous amusement. “Did you think I wouldn’t see through your little charade?”

When I didn’t answer, he continued, his voice low and dangerous. “You’re too calm, woman. Too calm for a widow whose husband was just murdered.”

Ironically, it was Alcander’s smile that formed in my mind’s eye at that moment. That little lopsided grin he would give me when he knew I was angry and about to retaliate. I could almost hear him in my head telling me to calm down, that I didn’t have to right all the world’s wrongs immediately.

“Perhaps I have accepted my fate,” I replied evenly, even as my heart pounded against my chest.

Odysseus scoffed, leaning in closer, his breath hot against my cheek. I tried to move away, to give myself room to breathe, tothink, when he grabbed me roughly by the arms. His expression hardened, and the room seemed to grow colder as he delivered his next words with a venomous calm. “If I find you trying to get so much as a word out of the other men and generals in this camp, I will feel no compunction at whoring you out to the highest bidder and telling them to gag and blindfold you as they take you. Do you understand me?”

My back stiffened. To be given to someone else … I would not have a chance to realise my vow, to hold this man accountable for his crimes. I clenched my fists in a desperate attempt to maintain my composure. The muscles in my jaw protested as I kept clenching every fibre of my being, willing myself not to lash out, though my fingers itched to retaliate.

Eventually, I could hold my tongue no longer. “I want nothing from Diomedes,” I spat, my voice trembling as I fought to keep my rage suppressed. “I want nothing to do with any of you.”

He regarded me for a moment before dismissing my words as worthless. “Continue being dishonest and manipulative and I’ll be keeping a very close eye on you.”

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