Page 63 of Faerie Trials

Closing my eyes, I shut out the rest of the world, focusing on the small ball of heat at the base of my spine where I always imagined I kept my magic stored. It helped to visualize it as an actual physical space. Especially considering how my inherent power was cognitive manipulation.

I willed the power to grow and change into a huge fire fueling the magic. With it, I called out the words to the spell set to animate one of the suits of armor from the castle. If this went well, I’d cross the finish line without accessing earth, air, fire, or water magic. If this went poorly—

Yup,dead.

Getting the rusty metal to move was one thing. Getting it to walk out of the castle and pick me up and carry me through miles of rough terrain was another thing entirely.

I didn’t want to focus on what the other students were doing. They were not my competition. I was. The only person I needed to beat today was myself.

The spell took hold and I waited precious seconds for my awareness to expand. Of course, if I’d been allowed to use my transfiguration, not only would I have made it to the finish line before everyone else, but I would have hands down won without breaking a sweat. Did anyone really think about how quickly a peregrine could fly? And it wouldn’t take any kind of magic tied to air or earth. Only to myself.

Yeah, transfiguration was a great idea if I wanted to expose myself and be thrown out of this land for the rest of my inhumanly long existence.

I held tightly to the connection to the magic, hearing the words in my head:Etanimae quaea venire mai. Etanimae quaea venire mai.

Please let this work, please let this work!

It was my own personal chant.

Mike and I had decided on the armor because it was lighter than a statue with better joints for walking. Praying I’d done enough to at least get the armor out here, I repeated the spell. Then I felt cold steel press against my back and I leaned into the contact. Allowing the armor to pick me up and carry me off the field. A blanket of cold air fell over us when we passed through the tree line, the wind biting deep.

I wanted to whoop in excitement despite the chill. The damn old thing was moving! And at a pretty decent speed, too. At this point, I either held onto the temperature spell keeping me comfortable or I could keep this connection alive, but I couldn’t do both, and I knew which one mattered.

Teeth chattering, I pushed my strength into holding the spell. Listening to the satisfying clink and clank of metal.

Mike had been right on the money to delve into those old books. The kind of old books people tried to ban because they contained powerful forgotten magic.

I purposely kept my eyes focused straight ahead. I didn’t want to see what the others were doing and risk breaking my focus or wondering if there was something I could have done better. The spell I used—Mike as well—was an archaic one and didn’t rely on any kind of elemental power to boost it. That would go against the rule of using the elements. No, the spell relied solely on the user’s life force and personal will.

Creative? Maybe not the most. Dangerous?Absolutely.

It was along the same lines of the first trial, in which one needed to know when to stop or else the magic might take their entire life force to sustain the spell. Except today, if I reached that point and I cut off the spell, I’d lose. I had to hope I could keep the armor going even over the roughest terrain without dropping me or becoming stuck or somehow disabled.

Touch the ground and I’d be out; that was the biggest rule.

I hated the rules. I hated the monsters who made up the rules.

The armor kept moving, kept pushing forward slowly. Its metal toe hit a rock and it stumbled, going down on both knees and I scrambled to hang on and not come in contact with the ground. I gripped the thing’s neck to keep from slipping.

Close, too close.

I wasn’t sure how much time passed with the late spring wind biting into my skin. There was no snow on the ground, thank goodness, but there were tripping hazards galore. It took everything inside of me to navigate the armor and make sure it didn’t run into a tree or break off a leg on a boulder or fallen log. We were alone in the woods.

And I felt my strength begin to dip.

I panicked at the first wavering. The first feeling of being out of control. The sound of rushing water became louder the farther we walked and I knew we’d soon hit the river, the same one winding through the village. How was I supposed to navigate the thing across a freakin’ river?

The armor slowed in response to my doubt and its arms began to lower. With a panicked yelp I clung on tighter.No, not now!Not when I still heard the faint roaring of the crowd near the palace. It might be my imagination but I knew we hadn’t gone far enough. Not nearly far enough.

My magic began to sputter and I dredged up every smidgen of energy and power within me until sheer exhaustion won out. The armor stopped at the edge of the river and the sound of rushing water filled my ears. I didn’t have any magical juice left to get across the water. I wasn’t going to make it. No way.

Emotion nearly overcame me and I let out a sound suspiciously like a sob.I’m not good enough.

Forget making it through the Elite Academy. That was only the here and now. The truth was I’d never been good enough. Always half this and half that, never fully one thing or the other. Divided. Weak. Not good enough. Raised as pack but having to keep my Fae nature hidden…what good did it do? All those times I’d followed the rules and did as I was told, all the people who had died around me, all the shit I’d been through. All of it was so I could get here to this point—and I didn’t have the mettle to make it through.

Raw fury exploded inside of me. I wanted to rip the armor apart piece by piece, imagining the king’s head in the empty helmet. I screamed out every bit of frustration and injustice until my energy level dropped dangerously low and I knew if I didn’t do something I would die. The spell would take the last bits of my power and use them up, leaving nothing left for me.

What did I have to lose anymore? I’d already had everything tossed at me without end. People who didn’t even know me hated me. Even though I’d never shown my true power people feared me. People underestimated me because I’d needed a tutor’s help.

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