Page 37 of Hold My Heart

But she kept walking.

“I’ll be here around nine for Renee.”

“Fine.”

Was that the only word she knew? No, but it was the only one coming easily for her.

Harlan collected his things and left without another word, quietly closing the door behind him. At least he hadn’t slammed it. She would have, if she were in his shoes, and would have enjoyed the way the wood slapped against the latch and reverberated along the walls. Might have even enjoyed knowing it would wake the baby and leave her screaming behind. But Olympia was too old to give in to such immature temptations. It was refreshing to see that despite his being years younger than her, Harlan hadn’t either.

She dragged herself up the stairs with the entire bottle of wine and wondered when she’d turned into such a bitch. Which was a nice way of putting the hardboiled workaholic she’d become. A woman who would rather put her nose to the grindstone and exist wearing blinders than lean on someone. A woman who would rather push people away than acknowledge her own vulnerability.

When she sat on her bed, memories of her nights with Harlan came to mind and she drowned them in a long sip of red wine. Her mind shied away from the topic before landing on one equally painful.

The lawyer had called about Renee. Oh, dear God.

Well, it was too late in the evening to call him now. Olympia would have to give him a ring in the morning to see if everything was indeed right with the case, as Harlan said. She couldn’t afford to lose her niece. Not when she’d fallen in love with the little snot. Their routine was about to change, sure, but at long last they’d become comfortable with each other. Dependent on each other. What would she do if the courts took Renee away?

Which of course brought her full circle to Harlan and had her feeling the urge to bury her face in her pillow and wail. Knowing there was no one around to judge her for it, she decided to do just that.

***

IN THE MORNING, HARLANcame back but refused to speak or look at her except when necessary. Olympia wasn’t ready yet to admit how much this distressed her. She also wasn’t ready yet to try to fix it with him. First things first, and that meant dealing with the adoption snafu.

She grabbed the folder of paperwork and went to start her car. While it warmed up, she drew in a deep breath and leaned her head against the back of her seat, hands on the chilly steering wheel, and wondered where along the line she’d stopped trusting people. Or why she kept trying to handle things herself instead of letting people in.

Was it when Dan died? Was she still blaming herself for his issues, those deceptive mental anxieties he had kept to himself until the voices in his head were louder than hers and he couldn’t take it anymore? Maybe it was deeper. An older wound. Her parents died young and she’d been forced to depend on herself, rely on herself because there was no one else around to do things for her.

But she’d done the therapy, she thought with a growl, reversing out of the driveway and speeding down the street. She’d talked to shrinks until she’d been put under the microscope long enough to understand and deal with her faults and limitations. Or so she’d thought. Getting involved with Harlan was bringing up all kinds of issues she’d thought she’d resolved, things she’d let go of. Apparently not.

She could spend hours psychoanalyzing herself once more, but it really boiled down to one important issue. She’d hurt Harlan when she hadn’t meant to. And she’d hurt Renee by not being there. And those were on her.

Quitting her job to focus on her home life was the best thing she could do. Because there were dynamics that needed to change.

The next few hours at work went by like she was wading through molasses. The big fundraiser was tomorrow night. It felt like a thousand years away. She would never make it through the day to reach tomorrow.

“Kellie, I need the tables to be set up in the center of the room. The flow has to feel natural so that when people walk around, they can see the displays without having to watch where they’re going. You’re creating a traffic jam with this cluster.” She pointed out the three tables grouped too closely together and blocking off the left side of the exhibit. “Circular, not horseshoe. Think flow.”

Her feet were killing her from wearing her dressy pumps too many days in a row. She resisted the urge to kick off her shoes and give herself an impromptu foot massage.

“Olympia, where do you want—”

The woman’s sentence was cut off when the fire alarm went off.Again. Olympia rubbed the bridge of her nose, pinching until it hurt. “Dammit, I thought we had this fixed. Someone go get maintenance!” The shrill shrieking segued into the ringing of her cell phone. On a muffled roar, she ripped the phone out of her pocket and answered with a snarl in her voice. “What?”

“Sweetheart?”

Mrs. Nunez. “Mama.” Instantly contrite, she strode out of the room, knocking her shin against a chair. She didn’t even care. It was penance. “I’m sorry! I didn’t realize it was you. Are you all right?”

“No, no, I’m not,” came the soft sweet voice. “No. I fell in my bathtub. I need your help.”

Mrs. Nunez lived alone, with her children in different states and no close family nearby. Olympia’s heart thumped against her chest. “What do you mean, you fell? Where are you now?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I know you’re working, but I have no one else to call. It’s the middle of the day and everyone is too far away. My kids are in North Carolina, they can’t come. I didn’t call the fire department because I don’t want them to see me like this.”

“Are you hurt?” She stuck her pinkie finger in her opposite ear to try to block out the sound of the alarm and better hear the conversation. “Please tell me you’re okay.” Already her mind was moving at light speed, imagining the worst.

“I think I...well, I twisted my ankle a little.” This was said as though it was nothing but a nuisance. “But I’m stuck. Can you come to help me out of the tub?”

Her gut reaction was to tell Mrs. Nunez to call the police and have them come, pride be damned. They were better equipped to handle these kinds of emergencies, after all. Olympia stared around at the chaos at work, the swirling tornado of activity, with the fire alarm still blaring overhead. Was it true what Harlan said? About her needing to save everyone? About her need for control?

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