Page 1 of Santa's Knotty Workshop

Chapter 1

Percy

Seven Days Until Christmas Eve

What had I been thinking, making the switch from working on Candy Cane Lane for Santa 35 to now working on Whipsy Lane for Santa 69? Somehow, I got it in my mind that my work was boring and that I needed a change, any change. And what did I do about it? I applied to the very first job opening I saw. It was a good idea at the time. Now? Now I wasn’t so sure.

It’s not like I didn’t know what I was getting into when I accepted the transfer.Everyoneknew that Santa 69 had theadultworkshop — as in, the workshop intended to build toys for adult nighttime adventures, both the good and naughty kind, and especially the naughty kind. There wasn’t a single toy in this workshop that wasn’t totally naughty. And alluring.

I should have been on Whipsy Lane, but they assigned me to Dildo Row today, where endless packages of... well,packagescame down the conveyor belt. During my shift, I had my hands on more cocks than I ever had in my entire life. Then again, I had only ever had my hands on my own, so I suppose that wasn’t hard.

I had to laugh at that.Hard. Haha.

There was an endless supply of jokes to be made about the goings on at Santa’s Naughty Workshop. The other workshops I had been a part of were full of mischief and glee. Happiness abounds as we all prepared toys for the good little girls and boys in the world. Looking back, I wasn’t sure why I felt the push to leave my last position. Objectively, it was the dream job. But then again, they all were.

This workshop was different, though. It was full of mischief, all right. Every elf I worked with seemed to be a horny mess and was loud about it. And sure, I was too, but I kept it contained. Mostly. It was hard when you were hearing all the things the others were up to or wanting to be up to.

And even if I wanted to keep my arousal at certain conversations or toys private, it was nearly impossible. Hiding an erection inmy uniform? While I wore green skintight tights and sparkling, swirly red shoes and a green tunic with the white faux-fur trim that covered very little? Yeah, impossible.

And it was then that it felt that all around me, the elves were talking out loud about which one of the toys and other naughty accessories they enjoyed the most. There was no such thing as oversharing at the Naughty Workshop. I knew which elves like which vibes, dildos, cock rings, sleeves, beads, eggs, games, blindfolds, edible accessories, and on and on. I knew how they used them, when, and with whom.

The wild part was that this was part of the job. The elves were the biggest product testers, and if the rumors were true, they also came up with the best ideas for new toys. Of course, they would discuss them. And probably I should too, but unlike the others here, I was a virgin. The only thing I had to compare a toy to was my hand… hardly made me an expert. That was unless they suddenly designed a series of toys for the inexperienced. Then I’d be their elf.

In the basement, which I hadn’t been brave enough to visit yet, was a full dungeon with every spanking bench, St. Andrew’s cross, and bondage table known in existence. One day I’d go down there, but I wasn’t ready just yet. I was too busy getting adjusted to my new surroundings.

At least I couldn’t say I was bored anymore.

“Okay, personally, I like that pink swirled one,” Willy Spriggle, one of my coworkers, said. “You know, it has the intense settings that make it just barely legal.”

“Rumor has it, it’s based on Donner’s parts.” Harry Noggins giggled.

If that were true, Donner was packing.

“No way!” Jimmy, another elf, exclaimed. “You made that up. You onlywishit was.”

And now I was thinking about Donner’s dick. Poor guy probably did not know that he was the center of conversation in here, of all places. Imagine delivering toys based on your own massive package and not even knowing it. Or maybe he knew it and it got him off. Gods, what was wrong with me? I shouldn’t be entertaining these rumors.

“Speaking as someone who has seen and handled Donner’s parts,” a third elf chimed in, “It’s overrated, sweetie. He’s a little quick on the lift-off, if you know what I mean.” He winked.

I didn’t know what he meant, but the others all seemed to. It wasn’t like I could just ask. They already thought I was a prude, which I wasn’t. I just hadn’t found the right person yet.

Did that mean he grew hard in the blink of an eye? That would be good, right? Maybe they meant he was quick to finish? That I thought could go either way. No matter the case, I was out of my comfort zone with this conversation.

I wasn’t against the open talk. Not really. It was fine. They had these conversations around me. I just had nothing to contribute other than an erection and rosy cheeks.

A hand landed on my shoulder, and I jumped. “Pay them no mind, Percy,” Willy said. “They’re a bunch of naughty elves. They get this way as we get toward the end of the season.”

“I’m fine.” I didn’t want to stick out like a sore thumb, even though it was clear I was out of my element here. Pretty much that sleigh had left.

“Oh my goodness, look at this!” A flogger landed in front of me on the center of the table. The red-and-black leather handle was a stark contrast against the red leather and white fur falls. I shuddered at the thought of what that might feel like over my skin. I wasn’t even sure if it was a good or a bad shudder.

All the elves around me were working, each with a different toy in their hands, packaging them up. Mostly all dildos. There were thick purple ones, long black ones, and even a weird swirly one that couldn’t possibly be based on any human male I’d ever seen. Was it meant to be a dragon penis? An alien? Or maybe an octopus?

Don’t even get me started on the tentacles. I didn’t know tentacles were a thing, but they were on the most requested list this year. I could think of a place or two for them to go, but some had so many, and that had me a thousand times more confused than horny.

“Our Santa is an absolute genius. Look at the craftsmanship here!”

Chester Pole, a particularly horny elf, came over to our table. He was the lead of Whipsy Lane and the reason I had to move over to Dildo Row. His glare landed on me, then he looked back at the other elves. He let out a visible shudder.

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