Page 35 of Necessary Roughness

After—quite literally—having my life saved, it had thrown things into new perspectives for me. My world had been turned upside down. Like winning the lottery or receiving terrifying health news. Both were extremes that could alter someone’s universe.

And mine… mine had been permanently transformed by Luke.

An old version of Brett Mercer had died on Leonard’s boat yesterday. The cranky, curmudgeonly, trash-talking Brett of yesterday was no more. He fell overboard, crashed into the waves, and disappeared into the depths of the ocean.

Today, staring back at me in the reflection of my laptop screen, I was a new man.

With a new purpose.

I was going to transform my viewpoint and thus transform my persona.

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

The reverse of the old adage could be true. Maybe it was time to fix it.

Suddenly, a new fear washed over me. What if I couldn’t hack it? What if my listeners had only tuned in to hear my latest scathing comment or the newest cutting quip?

What if my audience went to zero with my newfound positivity?

I stopped myself from spiraling and reminded myself that I had to take a chance. This was my legacy; this wasmydecision to make.

Pausing for a moment, I forced myself to zoom out and consider the bigger picture implications. Pinnacle might not appreciate me doing an about face without advance warning. My contract was up for renewal in just a few weeks, and I was aiming for a promotion. Plus, my agent had just recently complimented me on growing my fanbase.

For a moment, I considered calling my boss to ask for guidance, but I didn’t want to interrupt his all-important vacation. If I appeared to be a meek follower, he’d never trust me to run a big production. I needed to take the initiative on the direction of my show. Be my own man, set my own tone.

I forced my butt into the chair.

Still, the laptop and microphone taunted me.

You can’t do it. Stick with what you know. Brutal criticism—it’s what the people want!

But it wasn’t what I wanted. Not anymore.

Slowly, I lifted my hand and pressed the power button on my laptop.

The familiar ding reminded me that this was real. This was really about to happen.

I’d record it in an hour and within a few hours that same day, I’d have feedback from my higher-ups.

Things moved quickly at Pinnacle in the high-paced world of sports news.

Reaching over, I turned on my microphone, steeling myself and attempting to calm my nerves.

I opened a document containing the notes I had written the previous day. Notes that were intended to be used in today’s podcast.

As I skimmed them, I shook my head in disappointment.

Another scathing takedown of some of the NFL’s biggest stars, including Luke. In fact, as usual, my notes had him as the biggest focal point of today’s show.

And maybe I was going to keep it that way.

With a new twist.

Suddenly, the air in the room felt lighter, and the heavy weight that had been burdening my chest lifted.

Claire’s words echoed in my mind. She had been right, of course. Always, relentlessly right.

Without her, I wasn’t sure if I would ever have been able to see through my own biases. My words carried consequences beyond my scope of understanding. So, I needed to make my words my own. Not words that only shocked and surprised listeners, thereby growing my audience.

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