Page 39 of Merry with a Single Dad

“But”—he shook his head—“you don’t. Because at the end of the day, you always gain a new understanding. A clarity or confidence, if you will—that things will work out if you put in the work. All relationships are work. Being a parent, a lover, a spouse—day in and day out, you try to do better than the day before.

“For me, nothing compares to the feeling of becoming a father to you and Savannah. It’s a different love than the one I share with your mom, but it’s just as strong. Unbreakable, ya know? And I’m so happy you’ve found that with Emily.”

“I love her so much. After I lost Kayla, I thought I’d never get over it. Especially for Hudson. I couldn’t even fathom dating or bringing someone into his life because it would never be the same as it was.” Dad silently contemplated my words as he sipped his beer. “When I met Emily, I had no idea how everything would change. It’s like a part of me came back to life. And I feel so lucky that she and Hudson have become so close.”

“It seems to me that you’ve found the missing piece to your puzzle,” Dad said with a smile.

“I’ve been waiting and thinking about what’s next. I don’t want to move too fast. But I also don’t want to wait. I feel like we're ready for anything. Everything. But I don’t know. Life is so unpredictable, and I know how quickly something can be taken away.”

“You can try to be prepared all you want, Chris. But you’re right. Nothing is guaranteed. Things are never just black and white, no matter how bad we want them to be. There’s always that one squirrely shade of gray that pops up and throws us off balance. There are painful things in life. But don’t let them overshadow the beautiful parts. Because those parts, the ones you never imagined would be possible again, the moments you never saw coming . . . well, those are the ones you truly live and breathe for.”

Releasing a deep sigh, Luke lifted up on all fours. He stretched his butt back and gave a huge shuddering shake. Dad chuckled when Luke planted his chin on his knee and looked up at him with those huge brown eyes that said, “Please love me.”

“He really is a great dog.”

“He is now. For a while there, he was the son of Satan.”

Dad howled with laughter and ruffled Luke’s head and ears.

“Thank god for Emily.”

“So not only did she save you, but she saved Luke too.”

“She saved me from wringing his neck.”

Luke gave a gigantic yawn and another shake before traipsing into the other room to find someone else to give him attention.

We settled into a companionable father-son kind of silence and watched Mom, Hudson, Emily, and the dogs from the kitchen table.

The comfort of home, the love of family, and the smells, colors, and music of Christmas surrounded me. Moments like this were not to be taken for granted. I knew that. Contented relaxation washed over me like a cozy blanket. It was the holiday season, but it was also my family who brought me the kind of joy every man wished for.

I was one lucky SOB, and as Emily’s eyes caught mine, I thanked the heavens and stars above for every blessing I’d ever received.

The twinkling look Emily sent me had my thoughts spinning years into the future, and the movie my mind played was one I wished I could make a reality.

Emily’s light snoring wasn’t keeping me awake, but it wasn’t gently rocking me to sleep either. She was knocked out beside me, probably already dreaming of sugarplums.

I didn’t blame her for falling asleep right when her head hit the pillow tonight.

Savannah flew in earlier, and with it being Friday night and all, we all stayed up way past Hudson’s bedtime.

Other than the rhythmic sounds of her inhales and exhales, the house was quiet. I should have been off in dreamland, too, but my mind refused to turn off. As tired as I was, I couldn’trelax. Slipping out of the covers, I threw on a sweatshirt and pants.

The blackness outside reminded me how cold it got at night, but in here, I was cocooned in the warmth and comfort of home.

Quiet as a mouse, I tiptoed to the kitchen. Maybe sneaking off for a midnight bowl of ice cream wasn’t the most logical solution to cure my insomnia, but my mom’s homemade cookies were calling my name.

“Whatcha doin’?”

“Fuck!” I yelled, spinning around with the ice cream clutched guiltily to my heart. “You scared the shit out of me, Sav!”

Savannah hadn’t laughed so hard all night.

“You can’t sleep either?” I asked, pulling two bowls from the cupboard.

“Nope.” Wrapped in an old sweatshirt, her hair tumbled out of the messy bun on top of her head. Her eyes were tired, but her smile took me back to the days when we were kids, sneaking into the kitchen for Mom’s cookies after she and Dad went to bed.

“You doing okay?” I slid the tin of goodies to her.

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