Page 56 of Standing Still

Jared’s words swirl in my head, too. I have never met a woman I wanted to commit to, but that didn’t mean it was because I was holding out for Elle. Before Acer pulled his stunt, there’d been no hope for us.

But now there is. And sitting here, thinking about it, I realize I’m doing the same thing Acer did. I’m waiting for her to come back. Instead of going after what I want.

Fucking hell. I want her. I’ve always wanted her.

I grab my keys and head out to the truck, dialing Dawn as I go.

She answers, sounding harried, and I hear a baby squawking in the background. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Sounds like you got your hands full there.”

“I have a newborn. What do you think? So, you ready to pull that stubborn head out of your ass?”

“Shut up. Just give me her address.”

Dawn’s laughter grates on me, but I grab a notepad from the glove compartment and scribble out the address.

“Go get her tiger.” She hangs up on me, the crying cutting off.

I laugh despite the rudeness. I hurry home, shower, and change and drop Jedi off with Lewis and Natalie, because I’m still not talking to Jared. Zach’s youngest, Oscar, is allergic, and I can’t be bothered with a million questions I’d be sure to get from mom.

I program the address into my GPS and do something I never thought I’d do. I head to NewYork City.

Having never been there before and having left without thinking things through, I have to stop for gas and food because it takes a long time to drive to New York. But once I’m fed and gassed up, I feel better about the decision. Fuck knows what I’m going to say to her, but this sitting back and waiting is done.

I hate New York as soon as I arrive at it. The roads are busy, confusing, and crowded, people crossing the streets, horns blaring, insane road systems. I have no idea how anyone lives here. I get lost, then when I do find her building, there is nowhere to park, so I drive around looking for a parking garage.

And Elle thinks I could try living here. I have no clue how she likes it.

It’s nearing six in the evening when I navigate on foot back to her apartment building. The whole place smells. It’s not horrible, it’s different, potent, like I couldn’t inhale and get a clean lungful of air. As I approach the building, a woman is pulling the door back and shoving a box through with one foot. I hurry over and help her with the door, then offer to pick up the box. She looks harried and slightly red faced but when she stands up and smiles I’m stunned by how beautiful she is.

Fuck, do all the women in New York look like this? Not that she is a patch on Elle. This woman is younger by about ten years, if I had to guess. She’s well put together, though, in designer jeans and a baggy t-shirt that looks as if it’s meant to be old and distressed.

“Oh thank you, but I can manage,” she tells me, hefting up the box. “If you could get the elevator, though, that would be great.”

“You sure? That looks heavy.” I frown as she gets both hands under the bottom of the box.

“Honestly, I’m used to it. I just struggled to get the door. I’m not sure where the doorman is today.”

“Okay.” I cross the lobby to the bank of elevators and hit the button. “What do you have in there anyway, rocks?” I laugh.

“Might as well be,” she gives me a smile back. “Could you hit seven for me?”

I press the button. It’s where I’m going too. She eyes me when I don’t press another button, but I say nothing. Her phone rings in her back pocket, and she groans.

“Want me to take the box?”

“No thank you, I’ll call him back once I’ve delivered this,” she rolls her eyes, like it’s a common occurrence.

I let her out first when we get to the seventh floor and we both turn in the same direction. She gives me another look and I just nod, hanging back a little. I don’t want her to think I’m following her. When she stops outside the door I’m going to, I frown at her.

“You know Elle?” I ask.

She looks at me in surprise. “I do. Do you?”

“Yeah,” I say, as if that is obvious.

“Sorry,” she chuckles. “I’m Jenna. I’m dropping off some books for her to sign. She has a giveaway for her fans coming up. We would meet at the office, but we’ve had to close up for a couple of days, so I said I’d bring them by.”

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