Page 26 of Standing Still

He shrugs unashamedly. “Told you I was reintroducing you to Mystic, and seafood and fishing is a huge part of it.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t want to get pizza if you wanted to give me the real Mystic experience,” I chuckle, and Ben rolls his eyes. The Mystic Pizza tent is a few stalls down from Craig’s. There is a line snaking along that looks to have at least thirty people waiting.

“Even if I hadn’t caught this and knew it was some of the best fish in the area, I still wouldn’t want pizza.” He takes a huge bite of his battered cod, chewing it as he stares at me.

We finish our food and drink our beers, enjoying the sun and music and the older couple at the table with us start chatting. Jedi has eaten his food and is lying down his with paws resting on my feet. Now and then, I absently reach down to scratch his soft ears. He’s so cute.

After we finish our drink, we get up to walk through the rest of the festival. Ben tells me one of his old friends is in a blues band and he wants to catch their set. I walk alongside him, surreptitiously looking at him and how everyone around him reacts.

The women aren’t subtle. They eye him blatantly, even if they are with a guy themselves. Even though I’m notwithhim, I do get a sick satisfaction of seeing their eyes run over me with jealousy in their gaze, especially when I see Evelyn, the receptionist from the law firm who was all over him. She is so pissed and turns to the woman she is with, whispering furiously until that woman looks over too.

Ben seems to catch where I’m looking and his jaw tenses, but he doesn’t say anything. I figure discussing all the women drooling over him probably isn’t one of the ways he wants to convince me to come back to Mystic.

When we find the tent where his friend is playing, Ben gets us set up in some seats to the left of the ‘stage’ which is just a slightly raised platform. I do like all different kinds of music but never really listened to much blues. I don’t recognize the song, but the music is smooth and they’re really good.

The singer’s voice is deep and rich and I’m quickly swaying along to the slow beat. When I ask Ben who they’re singing, he smiles and tells me the best blues singer ever, B.B. King. I’ve at least heard of him.

“You like?” he asks.

I smile and nod because I’ve already leaned in once to ask and his smell is bordering on intoxicating. It’s distracting. He leans into me though and taps his mostly empty bottle against mine, his brows raised. I nod and he gets up to grab us more drinks and I let out a breath of relief.

I can’t be feeling things like this around him. I know he wants to try to convince me to stay, but I can’t allow old feelings to surface. He’s said as much himself. We’re older, we’ve both moved on. Hell, I’ve been married and divorced in the time since we last saw each other.

God, I don’t even know if he is single. That thought slaps me in the face. Yes, women flirt with him, but I haven’t seen him reciprocate in any meaningful way. I should have found out from Dawn. I can’t ask him to his face.

When he returns, he has fresh beers and some Churros too. I smile, remembering how much I used to love these. I can’t even recall the last time I had them. He grins at me as the music plays and I bite into them, getting sugar all over me.

When I lick the tips of my fingers, his eyes track it and I flush, grateful it’s dim inside the tent, because that look on his face is doing all kinds of things to my lady parts. The ass knows what he’s doing, though. He dips his head with a grin and looks away from me.

When his friend finishes up their set, Ben introduces me, and we chat for a while before moving on to check out some of the stalls. More people are here and greeting Ben as we pass. Then we bump into two of his brothers and my mouth drops open when he introduces me to Denny. I can’t believe how grown up he is. Ben laughs when I say it and Denny responds.

“I’m still the most handsome of the Daniel’s brothers.”

“You wish,” Ben elbows him.

Jared pushes his little brother too, and he bounces around between them. They are a remarkable sight, that is for sure. All three of them together are almost too hard to look at. And they’regetting more than enough attention. It is surreal chatting with them, but they seem just as down to earth and chill as I remember.

Jared doesn’t seem in the least bit concerned that the last time I saw his brother, we were breaking each other’s hearts. He just chats away about business and his family and then Mystic. I cast a glance at Ben, but he avoids eye contact. Doesn’t surprise me. He’s got his brothers in on the act. I get it, I do. And the more I’m here, the more I’m starting to actually hurt over the idea of ruining this for Ben.

“You okay?” Ben asks, looking at me with concern. My face shows the change in my thoughts, about how ridiculous and thoughtless dad had been about this clause in his will.

“Yeah,” I force a smile. “I’m fine. So, I saw a distillery tent over there.”

“You’re in the mood for some whiskey tasting?” Jared asked, hearing what I said.

I rub my hands together. “Definitely.”

“Well then,” Ben gives me a huge smile. “Let’s get to it.”

I don’t shiver when he puts his hand on my lower back. Not even a little.

Chapter Twelve

Elle might think I haven’t noticed, but I damn sure have. It’s like pure muscle memory, feeling the way she reacts to me. The shiver when I touched her back did not go unnoticed at all. I don’t think it’s even that she is cold because I’m sweating my balls off. The sun may be getting lower, but the residual heat is lingering. No, that was all about how I touched her. And I like it.

Jared is behind her to my right, and he winks. He didn’t miss it either. He nods encouragingly. He wants me to pile the pressure on, seduce her to get her to agree to stay. But the more I think about that, the more I know it isn’t a good idea.

Because if she does stay and I’ve made my intention on that level, then what does that mean going forward if she is here six months out of the year? If I need to back out of it, how do I do it? Do I want to do it, or do I want… something?