Page 46 of Golden Atonement

“I know that!” I yelled. “That’s what I’m saying. The kids and I need to leave before someone gets hurt. I’m so tired of this shit. Everywhere I go, people die. I just want it to stop!”

“Remi,” Kansas softly said, sitting next to me. “I get that you’re scared, but leaving right now will only put you in moredanger. You and the kids need to stay here, where we can protect you.”

Leaning forward, I covered my face with my hands.

This was never going to end.

“Can I have a moment alone with Remi, please?”

I didn’t want to talk anymore. I wanted to grab my kids and leave.

I wanted to run as far as I could and just disappear.

Kansas and his brothers said nothing when they left Kansas’ office, leaving me alone with Shadow, the former executioner of the Golden Skulls MC.

“You want to run?”

I nodded. “Yes. I’m tired of all of this, Shadow. I can’t do it anymore. My whole life has been nothing but blood and death. I deserve happiness. I’ve earned it.”

“You are right about that. If anyone deserves happiness, it’s you.”

“There is a but in there somewhere, Shadow. Just say what you need to say.”

“He’s only human, Remi. He’s not perfect by any means. He makes mistakes like all of us. I think in some way you still see that fifteen-year-old boy in a cage. Your perfect white knight. And because your white knight fell off his horse, you don’t know what to believe anymore.”

“I don’t believe in fairy tales, Shadow. I never did.”

“Yes, you do. You always have. I remember the scared girl who showed up at the clubhouse that night, all beaten to hell and barely hanging on. The second your eyes landed on Reaper, you allowed him to rescue you. Regardless of what you think now, your white knight kept his promise to you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He promised that no matter what, he would protect you. While I don’t condone how everything played out, you knowdamn well everything he did was for you. Reaper’s not perfect, Remi. He’s a man. Flesh and blood. We all make mistakes, trust the wrong people, do the wrong things, but it’s how we move forward that separates the men from the boys. Reaper is out there, still protecting you, knowing damn well you hate him.”

“I don’t hate him,” I muttered.

“Yes, you do. You flinch every time someone mentions his name. When Sandman, Fedorov, and Montana flew to California and told you the truth, what did you do?”

“Nothing.”

“Remi, your husband made a pact with the Devil to protect you. He knew what it would cost him and he still did it. There is a deeper reason Kansas and his brothers don’t associate with Montana and the Soulless Sinners. You may think you are alive right now because of Montana, but it’s what your husband gave up to protect you. Montana and the others only cared about what they were getting out of the deal. They could have ended this fucking war a long time ago but didn’t. Instead, they stood back and let Reaper and the Golden Skulls take all the risks. And fuck me, did we lose a lot along the way, but none more so than Reaper.”

“He hurt me,” I whispered.

“Because you didn’t trust him.”

My head snapped up. “What the hell did you just say?”

“You heard me. You never fully trusted him. If you did, then you would know that Reaper would have never cheated on you.”

“I trusted him the most.”

Shadow shook his head. “No. Your past would never allow that. Think for a minute, Remi. From the moment you were born, your birth father gave you away. The family who wanted you couldn’t protect you. You were a pawn in a game not of your making. Instead of being loved and protected, you’ve endured a lifetime of abuse from men and women who used you to get whatthey wanted. And the one man who chose to make a stand, to stop your torment, is the one man you damn near killed because in your mind, he was like all the others.”

“Max is nothing like them!” I snarled, getting to my feet.

How dare he say that shit to me?

Max was nothing like them.

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