Page 42 of Golden Atonement

Vladmir shook his head. “I can’t answer that,moi malen’kiy lev.This decision has to be yours.”

Looking over at Shadow, the man I knew the most smiled but said nothing.

“I’m going to lunch with Vladmir.”

“Remi—” Dakota moaned.

“No. I’m done being lied to. Either start telling me the truth or I’m gone. I’ll see you all later.”

Leaning forward on the table, I picked at the salad before me, not really hungry. I didn’t know what I should do. I knew what I wanted to do, but running away never solved anything. In my experience, if someone wanted to find me, eventually they would. Plus, it wasn’t just me anymore. I couldn’t take the kids and just vanish. What kind of life would that be for them?

They didn’t ask for this life. They were just trying to survive it.

“What can I do?”

Smirking, I looked at Vladmir and said, “Go back in time and choose differently.”

He sighed, slowly closing his eyes.

I knew what I said hurt him, but it was the truth. If he had chosen differently, my life would have been different. I could have had a normal life. Anything other than what I survived.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, leaning back in my chair. “That wasn’t fair.”

“No, you had every right,” he said, looking out the window. “I should have chosen differently, and because of my actions, you paid the price.”

“Why didn’t you keep me?”

“Because I was scared. I just lost your mother. Watched my best friend cut you out of her belly. We were at war with a man named Sergio Pavlov. I couldn’t protect you.”

“Did you regret it?”

He looked at me and the sorrow in his eyes damn near robbed me of my very breath.

“Every damn day.”

“I met them once, you know, Satan’s Angels. They came to the club looking for Ink. They weren’t nice about it. The president, Steele, ended up killing his own daughter, before killing Gadget and Torque. I was pregnant back then. Because of them, I lost my baby.”

“I’m so sorry.”

I shrugged. “It’s alright. I wasn’t very far along.”

Reaching for my hands, he added, “No, it’s not alright, Remi. You loved that baby. I know you did. Your mother was the same way. When she learned she was pregnant, she fell instantly in love with you. She talked about you all the time. She couldn’t wait to meet you. She wanted you so badly, my little lion. You were loved, truly loved, from the moment you were conceived.”

“I wish I could have met her too,” I whispered.

“You look just like her.” He smiled, reaching inside his suit, retrieving his wallet.

Opening it, he handed me a worn photo.

“I wish I had more, but that is the only photo I have of Nina. She was coming out of class one day and I took that. I don’t know why. In my line of work, pictures are easy identifications of those we love. But seeing her smile that day, I couldn’t stop myself.”

“She looks happy,” I murmured, looking at my mother for the first time. We did look alike, well, minus the hair. My mother had dark, almost black hair, but everything else, I was all her. Right down to the way she smiled.

Handing the photo back, he shook his head.

“Keep it. She belongs to you.”

“Thank you,” I said, running my finger over her face. “Vladmir?”

---