Page 39 of Golden Atonement

Emma was another story. My daughter still wanted nothing to do with me and had fallen deeper into silence. She flat out refused to even be in the same room with me anymore.

I knew what she wanted. I wasn’t stupid.

She wanted to go home. She missed her dad and the rest of our family. In a way, Emma was like me. Taken from everyone she loved and raised in a world no child should be a part of. Emma still had nightmares from her time with that fucking cult.

Why Reaper didn’t let Ghost just wipe those bastards off the face of the earth, I would never know.

“Remi?”

Looking up as Shadow walked over to me, I said, “Can I have one of those?”

Shadow frowned. “You don’t smoke.”

“First time for everything.”

“Babe, I don’t think Reaper would—”

“It’s not his choice anymore, Shadow. Either give me one or I will have one of your new brothers give me one. Choose?”

Sighing, the sweet man handed me a cigarette and his lighter.

I don’t know why I wanted one.

I hated when Reaper smoked.

I couldn’t stand the smell it left behind on him and his clothes.

Placing the cigarette between my lips, I flicked the lighter and inhaled, instantly regretting my decision.

Coughing, I handed the lit cigarette to Shadow, shaking my head.

“Yep. I fucking hate that shit.”

“Then why ask for one?”

“Because I needed to be sure.”

“Sure of what?”

“That I was still me,” I said when he handed me a bottle of water, taking a seat next to me on the picnic table.

“Ari’s worried about you.”

“So is everyone else.”

“I’m not.”

I huffed. “You’d be the only one.”

“Want to know why?”

“Not particularly.”

“Because I know you’re just angry. It’s an emotion I am very familiar with. Anger can be very therapeutic if you let it. Anger can allow you to see past the bullshit to the core of the matter. Just don’t let it control you. That’s where most people go wrong.”

“Like you?”

Shadow took a long drag of his cigarette and sighed. “Yeah.”

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