Page 16 of Golden Atonement

I didn’t want to answer. I couldn’t. It was horrible. How could I tell Angelica that his daughter hated my guts? Blamed me for taking her away from him. That she wanted nothing to do with me.

“You know, Remi, therapy only works if you are truthful. I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me.”

“Why should I? You already know everything.”

“Yes, I do, but I want to hear it from you. I have all the facts. Montana made sure of that, so did others. But what I want to know is the truth beneath the facts. Your feelings, your thoughts, your truth. I’ve been in this profession for years. I’ve helped many people with darker pasts than yours. Trust me when I say there is nothing you can tell me that I haven’t heard before.”

I slowly turned to look at the woman and challenged, “You sure about that?”

I walked the short distance next door and entered my home. Standing with my back against the door, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, fighting the urge to scream.

I fucking hated talking with Angelica.

She was nice and seemed genuinely concerned, but she would never understand. No one would. My life was dark. I didn’t live in the light like everyone else. I never would. In the wake of all the terrible things I had witnessed, the unbearable hardships I had endured, and the loss of everything I held dear, it left me with nothing but despair.

I should have kept running.

I should have told Tom to keep driving when he picked me up on the side of the road that day. If only I had never made the decision to seek him out, things might have been different for me.

Instead, I traded one nightmare for another.

One of my own making.

“Remi, is that you?”

Opening my eyes, I took another fortifying breath.

The day wasn’t over yet.

Show no fear.

Righting myself, I put on a brave face.

“Yeah. I’m back.”

Walking into the kitchen, I spotted my son sitting in his booster seat eating his lunch. His sister, beside him, reading a book, refusing to acknowledge me. Taking a seat at the table, I tried not to react when Emma scooted closer to Jesse. Instead, I looked up at the man who was leaning against the counter, watching me intently.

“Want to talk about it?”

Shaking my head, I said, “No.”

“Alright,” he replied, placing a cup on the counter. “If you don’t need me anymore, I’m gonna head home.”

“Thank you, Dakota.”

“No problem.” He winked, walking over to mess up Jesse’s hair, then he bopped Emma on the nose, and she smiled up at him.

A fucking genuine smile.

She smiled at everyone.

But not me.

Never me.

Dakota had just walked out the door when I jumped up and ran after him. “Dakota, wait.”

He stooped and faced me.

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