Page 134 of King Of Order

His eyes misted, and he blinked rapidly as if trying to shake off the nightmare. Then, to my surprise, his hand shot up to cover his face, his fingers trembling as he dragged them down. His shoulders shook, and I tagged the tremor in his limbs as he tried to gather himself.

I moved closer, pressing my body into his, my hand resting on his chest, the erratic beat of his heart beneath my palm. ‘Rio, it’s OK. It was just a dream.’

He released a shaky breath, his hands dropping to his sides as he pulled me into him. His arms wrapped around me, holding on like I might slip away if he let go.

His exhalation was warm against my neck, but I was able to feel the tension still thrumming through his physique.

‘I dreamed you were you were gone from me again,’ he whispered, his rasp rough and thick with emotion. ‘I couldn’t reach you. No matter what I did, you wouldn’t wake up.’

My heart clenched at the pain in his voice. I buried my face in his chest, my hand moving in slow, soothing circles across his back.

‘I’m here now,’ I murmured, lifting my head to look at him.

His pale aqua eyes rimmed with red glimmered, fear lingering in their depths.

‘I thought I lost you again,’ he growled.

I pulled back so I met his gaze. ‘I’m OK now, Rio,’ I reassured him, even though the memory of what I endured—those long, dark days trapped in silence—still haunted me too. ‘It’s over.’

He brushed a thumb across my cheek, his touch gentle, almost reverent. ‘But what was it like for you?’ he asked, hisvoice trembling. ‘I could never get you to tell me. I didn’t know how to help.’

I exhaled, gathering my thoughts, trying to put into words the nightmare that had gripped me. ‘It was like drowning,’ I said, my fingers tracing the lines of his hand resting against me. ‘Like something heavy was pressing down on me, pulling me under. I wanted to scream or reach out, but I couldn’t. I seemed trapped, watching the world go by like it was behind glass. I was desperate to snap out of it, but I didn’t have the strength to.’

His arms tightened around me, his lips brushing my temple in a feather-light kiss. ‘I’m so sorry,’ he whispered, his voice raw. ‘I never wished for you to feel that kind of pain.’

‘I know,’ I murmured, nuzzling closer into his warmth. ‘But it’s better now. I’m here with you. You pulled me through it. For many years, no one ever cared enough to.’

He twisted to face me, hand stroking over my cheek. ‘I more than care,leonessa. You know that.’

‘I do, which gives me strength. The thought you didn’t want anything more to do with me pushed me over the edge.’

‘Not the grief about your father, added with my threats?’

I shook my head. ‘No. I’ve had some time to think about it. The reason why I became catatonic was not because my father died. The fucker deserved it.’

Rio jolted, staring at me. ‘Bene, what was it?’

A shiver slithered down my spine, and I inhaled to cut short its snaking through me. ‘It was because I couldn’t handle that you thought that his evil, which tore you and your family apart, lived in me. I thought you now hated me, and that was enough to remind me of why I was so loathsome because of my degenerate kin, our sins, and our evil.’

‘But you’re not them,bella,’ Rio protested, his timbred, deep burr rumbling through his chest. ‘You’ve redeemed yourself many times with your art, your work with the kids, and your carefor your famiglia regardless of how they treated you. But it can’t have been that bad growing up a Tirone.’

‘Oh, but it was,’ I whispered. ‘Perhaps if I tell you, you’ll understand because this catatonic episode is not my first. I had one soon after my mother died. When I was left to deal with my father and his malicious, uncaring, selfish self.’

Chapter 28

CHIARA

‘Olivio Tirone was a shit. He used me to titillate his business partners, the freakish mobsters and gangster scum he worked with. He’d often drug and force me to do lap dances for his depraved friends for their pleasure.’

‘The fuck?’ Rio growled.

He reached for a hand for me, but I grasped his and pushed it back. ‘Allow me to finish,’ I whispered. ‘If you touch me before I do, I’ll lose it.’

He raised his palms in surrender, rage simmering in his pale blue eyes.

I canted my gaze away from him, knowing his righteous wrath, not at me but at my past, would undo me.

I sat in bed and wrapped my hands around my knees, going hard with the raw, unadulterated truth.

---