Page 60 of Goddess of Light

“Anything.”

“Were we happy together? In our union? In our marriage?”

The question catches me off-guard. I wasn’t expecting that.

“Happy? Yes, I think we were quite happy…”

Funny; it’s something I never really thought about. I guess I was always just taking it one day at a time. I guess there was always something getting in our way.

“Good,” she says. “You seem like someone I want to make happy.”

At that, my heart lurches against my ribs. “You did make me happy. You do.”

“Was it always that way?”

“Well, no,” I say with a huff, scratching at my beard. “Not at first. I’d say our coupling wasn’t under the best circumstances. For you, anyway. But you got under my skin, Hanna. You got in and you stayed there, through everything thrown our way. Even at the end there, when we were trapped in the Upper World with all the silly mortals, I felt closer to you than ever before. All I needed was to step out of my realm and feel what it was like to be human, and it made me admire and respect you even more. You showed me who you really were, and I…I…”

I loved you.

No, I love you.

Present tense. Here and now.

Words I’d never said to Hanna, words I’d never even said to myself.

I was never supposed to fall in love.

But I know I love her, even with my heart that seems too hardened at times. I can’t pretend anymore, can’t pretend it’s something else when I know the truth. It took to feeling completely lost without her by my side to know she captured my heart long ago. It just took time for the rest of me to realize it was missing.

And now, more than ever, I wish I had said those words to her. She had told me she loved me, and I felt it, deep and raw and real, and now, I want her to hear those words from me.

But the woman across from me wouldn’t care for those words. They wouldn’t mean anything.

I swallow the thickness in my throat. “If there is a way for me to bring the Hanna I desire to the surface, would you let me do it?”

She ponders that for a moment. “Only if you recognize the risks. That, in exchange, I might not be able to use my full powers, perhaps no powers at all. Then how would you battle Louhi and win? How will you get your son back?”

“We will figure something out. You saved us once, and that might be enough for us to save ourselves next time. Besides, maybe your father can grant you some of his magic, enough to keep some of your powers accessible. It might not be such a black-and-white situation.”

“I see,” she says. “What do you propose, then? How could you bring me back?”

I give her a sly grin. “In the most debased, primal way humans do to connect. One of the most human acts we have.”

She gives me a blank look. “You are talking about sexual coupling.”

“However you want to say it,” I tell her. I raise an expectant brow, having no idea if this course of action appeals to her. “Does that…entice you?”

Shit, I sound like a fucking imbecile.

She smiles faintly, and I swear I see something glittering in her eyes, though that’s probably just her powers. “Perhaps. I might need some time to consider.”

“Take all the time you need,” I tell her, getting to my feet.

“Something tells me you’re not a very patient God either,” she says, staring up at me.

“I’m not,” I say gruffly. “But I’ve learned to be one for you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

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