Page 116 of Goddess of Light

Finally, I burst out of the giant main doors and cross the drawbridge to see Tuoni, Sarvi, my father, and Rasmus gathered on the road around the other shaman. Ilmarinen looks worse for wear and staggers toward the castle, my father and Rasmus holding him up.

“What’s going on?” I ask as they approach. I look at Ilmarinen. “Where the hell did you go and what the hell are you doing here?”

“He was off being a coward,” Rasmus says snidely. “He’s been hiding all around Tuonela while the war raged on, too afraid to show himself.”

“I’m sorry,” Ilmarinen says weakly. “I just couldn’t do it. I don’t have your strength. She took it all from me.”

I look over his head at my husband standing behind him. He’s wearing one of his skull masks for the first time in ages, probably to intimidate the shaman. “He’s begged us for forgiveness,” Tuoni says. “What do you think, my queen?”

I look into Ilmarinen’s pleading eyes. They seem so broken by the world that I can’t help but give in a little. “Well, I think he was corrupted and tortured by Louhi for so long that perhaps we can be a little lenient?”

Rasmus scoffs, enough to draw a glare from me. “What? You’re one to talk,” I say to my half-brother. “You deserve forgiveness for being a rat-bastard and yet he doesn’t? You were both corrupted by the same demon.”

“Hey,” my father chides, offended by my choice of words.

“Rat-bastard is a figure of speech,” I assure him. Though, I mean, my father has been kind of rat at times. Rasmus, me, and even Salainen is proof of that. He’s a man with as many faults as me, but I still love him anyway.

Rasmus grumbles but says nothing more. Ever since he’s been brought back from the dead, he’s found a way to annoy me at every turn. I suppose that’s what brothers are good for. Since I grew up without any siblings, I can only guess, though I have to admit I do like having him around. It makes our family seem bigger. Also, he lives with my father in the farthest wing of Shadow’s End, so if either of them get on my nerves, they’re easy to avoid.

I look at my husband. “I say we take Ilmarinen into the fold. But he can work for us and earn our trust.”

Tuoni grins, always ready to dole out some form of punishment. He’s been looking for new help ever since the troops went back to the Upper World through the portal. Only General Pekka stayed behind. The fact that he died and came back had broken through Tuoni’s mental hold on him. And when General Pekka realized everything that had happened, the truth about us and the underworld, he decided he wanted to stay. He now does odd jobs that Tuoni sends him on, including going through the portal to procure the God’s various addictions from the Upper World, though I think in the future he will become an advisor, just like Kalma.

“The queen has spoken,” my husband says and I step out of the way as they lead Ilmarinen toward the moat.

“Hey!” I yell after them. “If you see Lovia, tell her I need a rematch!”

Will do,Sarvi says, hooves echoing on the drawbridge as they all disappear into the castle.She’ll be eager to watch you lose again.

I can’t help but laugh. Lovia and I have kept on our training. We might not have any enemies to fight anymore, but sparring is good exercise. Sometimes Tuonen joins in, besting us both. The two of them have a lot of time now to do what they want, now that the River of Shadows has an ice bridge across it, connecting Death’s Landing to the Frozen Void. It’s not the most welcoming spot for the newly dead, but the Keskelli trolls have taken it upon themselves to be something akin to both a toll booth operator (atrollbooth operator?) and a welcome wagon, the five of them taking shifts.

I know that both siblings have their sights set on going to the Upper World, though they promise to return to Tuonela one day. Lovia still wants to explore the world like a tourist and have various affairs (she says it will take a lot of guys to make her forget what sleeping with the universe was like, and to which I say, good luck with that), and Tuonen has some mysterious rendezvous with someone at some point in time. Whenever I ask, he never elaborates further.Fine, I’ve said, keep your secrets. The point is, the two of them are finally free of their roles in the underworld and it’s been a joy to watch them rediscover themselves and find their agency.

I look over my shoulder at Tuonela, vast and macabre and wild, feeling the cool breeze blow back my hair and ruffle my dress. The surrounding sea is full of white caps, but I know somewhere beneath the surface Bell swims again, along with Vellamo and Ahto. Vellamo’s arm has even started to grow back, made of tiny coral that’s slowly rebuilding.

It may have only been weeks since our lives have gotten back in order, but I’ve never felt closer to the land.

Or to the heavens.

I glance up at the sun, which is unable to burn my eyes. I still have remnants of my power, able to create flames of my own doing. It’s not much—like having lighters for fingers—but I still think it’s cool in anEdward Scissorhandskind of way.

Whether my mother is watching or not, I wave at her. She’s somewhere up there in the blue sky, now with Vipunen, who has abandoned his cave to watch over things from a more distant position. Apparently he chose the caves long ago to keep an eye on the God of Death and his family, but now that everything is in its right place, he’s ascended to the next level of his Godliness.

Ormy mother is holding the giant hostage. Even though she seems to be an unfeeling entity, something tells me that divine romance might be in the air. We’ll see.

I continue to look around, my eyes scanning the snow-capped mountains. Somewhere beyond the ranges, the dead live. They aren’t allowed to pass through Death’s Passage—everything from there to here is off limits. But the rest of Tuonela has been repopulated, eons worth of souls making new lives for themselves over every corner of the land. I’ve flown over the settlements a few times on Sarvi, watching as they build. It’s like observing the dawn of civilization, and it’s nothing if not humbling.

I might be the Goddess of Death, and a Goddess of Light, but I hope I never lose my sense of awe for humanity.

And that includes myself.

Later that night,I lie curled in my husband’s strong arms. We find solace in each other’s company every chance we get. You’d think we’re acting like newlyweds, bonking away like bunnies, but it’s pretty much true. This is the first time that I have felt truly united with him, in our home, in our realm.

This is the first time I feel like I truly belong to him.

And he truly belongs to me.

That’s what’s changed.

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