Page 10 of Goddess of Light

Sometimes, I nearly ask for that last breath to come.

But it doesn’t. And somewhere deep inside, I have resolve. There’s not a lot, but it’s there. Driven by anger, spite, and humiliation, I let it fuel me, enough to keep breathing, to try and plan my escape.

I want to be able to talk to Sarvi. The unicorn has so much intimate knowledge of Shadow’s End, far more than I do. They would know exactly how to get out of here. Once we’re out of the castle, then perhaps we can find help. There has to be someone left out there that hasn’t fallen under Louhi’s influence.

And Rangaista, I remind myself. Fucking Devil, it makes me feel sick knowing I’m related to him. I don’t know if he’s still in the castle or if he ventured out, but whoever comes across the demon won’t last damn minute.

I sigh and close my eyes, trying to think. Down here, there is no natural light, so I have no idea how many days or nights have passed. I don’t even know what time it is right now. There hasn’t been any food or water, which is affecting my mind and body. Part of me thinks there might be some residual power in me, because if I was completely mortal, I’m not sure I’d even be alive.

But what power have I always had anyway? Thinking back to the before times, my life before I ended up in here, is like slogging through mud. I can barely remember. I know that I have a connection to every soul in Tuonela, helpful when you spend half your days as the ferryman. It’s not as strong as my father’s, but still, it’s there. It’s that connection I’ve tried to use in order to reach Sarvi in my head when talking out loud hasn’t worked.

But perhaps I need to use the connection on someone else, someone who can help. Ideally, it would be a God, someone with the power to actually get us out of here, but I fear if there are any good Gods left, they are too far away for me to reach them.

My best shot is someone in this castle, which means I have to be strategic. If I reach the wrong person, someone under Louhi’s control, then I’ll only alert her to what I’m trying to do. And yet, I can’t think of who could still be on my side. Kalma is officially out. The Deadmaidens will do Louhi’s bidding, especially under the guise of my father.

I stare out through the bars of the cell at the dripping candle wax and try to think, but it feels hopeless, and I keep coming up empty.

Another bone mouse comes teetering out of the shadows, raising its nose into the air, the candlelight gleaming off its black fur and smooth white bones. It looks at me with empty sockets, whiskers moving up and down, one torn ear rotating. Perhaps I could communicate with the mouse, but what good would that do? A mouse can’t save me.

No. A mouse can’t, but another creature could.

Rauta.

My father’s iron dog.

Normally, he’s up in the Library of the Veils, guarding the Book of Runes. Of course, there’s a chance Louhi has already been up there and come across him in her search for all the magic she can muster. If so, she’d have no problem sending him to Oblivion. She always hated that dog.

I sigh, succumbing to the certainty of it. I doubt there is much she hasn’t already destroyed.

The bone mouse emits a squeak and sits back on its haunches as it continues to stare at me.

“What?” I whisper to it. “How are you going to help me?”

The mouse gets down on all fours and starts wagging its stringy tail back and forth.

Like a dog.

Are you trying to tell me something?I project silently.Can you hear my thoughts?

The mouse squeaks again and nods.

Is Rauta alive?

The mouse squeaks again, then looks down the corridor and quickly scampers off into the shadows. The sound of heavy boots and rattling chains fills the air, and my body tenses as someone steps into view.

It’s a guard dressed in heavy armor and carrying a sword, his skull visible under a metal helmet. The eye sockets stare at me for a moment before he keeps walking down the corridor. The guards usually patrol past every so often; it will at least grant me some time.

Once the guard is gone and the footsteps have faded, I close my eyes and try to reach Rauta. I picture my father’s library and how when you first enter, the dog is lying there at the base of the Book of Runes. I focus on the smell of the room, the dustyscent of old pages, the rich, earthy loam of the various burning candles, incense, and dried herbs used for spells. I narrow in on Rauta, the dog’s coat made of patches of black fur, bones, and iron welded here and there. Rauta’s eyes glow red in the black metal sockets, an iron tongue hanging out of its mouth.

Rauta, I whisper inside my mind, feeling energy stir up inside me, floating like sediment in water.Rauta, you good boy, can you hear me?

The energy stirs faster, becoming a vortex, and it’s as if I can feel it spreading through the bars, up to the ceiling, and then into the rest of the castle. I keep concentrating, not letting my attention waver.

Then, suddenly, there’s something there, like something is pushing itself through an invisible layer into me. At first, I don’t know what it is, but then I can feel it. It’s like I’m being…licked inside my soul, in a very comforting, yet slightly disturbing way.

Rauta!I exclaim.Good boy! You came.

A low whine sounds from my head, and it’s like the dog has formed itself inside me, iron body, red eyes, and all.

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