Page 139 of Things We Burn

I shook my head, smiling and swallowing that cool rage.

He clapped me on the shoulder, a rare sign of affection from him. “Congratulations … Dad.”

I smirked at him in response, feeling fucking overwhelmed that that’s what I was. Someone’s dad.

Herdad.

Knox was holding something in his hand.

My smirk turned into a grin.

“Wouldn’t have pegged you as a soft toy kind of guy, but it suits you.”

My brother, in his black suit, wearing all his shadows and demons, was holding a pink bunny.

He ignored me and stepped forward so he could look in the bassinet.

When Mabel let out a squeak, I was quick to lay my hand back on her swaddled chest. She calmed instantly.

Knox didn’t say anything. He just stared.

I was happy to stand in silence and stare at the most precious being that ever lived. Could’ve done it forever.

Knox leaned forward, and I tensed. Even though it was my brother, the one who would die to protect me and in turn, Mabel, he was still a predator. An ancient instinct in my body recognized that.

I knew that Knox saw me tense because that’s who he was, but he didn’t react.

He just placed that bunny in the corner of her bassinet, pausing his hand by her head, hovering as if to touch her before pulling it away, a fist at his side.

It hurt me, fucking killed, actually, that the simple act of touching his newborn niece wasn’t possible for my brother. I couldn’t read his mind, but I could guess that he considered himself too tarnished, too dirty, to sully Mabel.

“She’s beautiful,” Knox whispered.

I nodded. “More than beautiful.”

We stood for a while longer. “She’s gonna need an uncle,” I encouraged quietly. “I know that she already has one who will protect her from all the monsters of this world. But I’m gonna ask that you give her one who will sit with her, have tea parties, whatever the fuck. If that’s out of reach, one who will be there for Christmas.” I glanced at my brother. “Time to find a way out of the shadows, brother. I want this for you.” I motioned to Avery and Mabel. “More than that, youdeservethis.”

Knox didn’t say anything for a long while. “One day, long fucking time ago, I might’ve deserved this. But not now. Not after what I’ve done. Who I am. You’ve gotta make your peace with that, brother. I’ll protect her from the monsters of this world, but I can’t sit and have tea with her because I am one of those monsters.”

It hit me in the chest, the surety in which he spoke. And it hit me even harder that part of me might’ve agreed with him.

I opened my mouth to argue once I shut up the shitty part of me I was deeply ashamed of.

But Knox had already turned, heading out of the room.

I didn’t try to stop him, just sighed, looking at my daughter then the pink bunny in her crib.

My brother thought he was beyond saving, but that pink bunny proved he wasn’t.

He just couldn’t be saved by me.

Or himself.

If there was anything I’d learned this past year, it was that the right woman could save a man, one who’d thought he was undeserving.

Twowomen, I corrected, staring at my daughter while hoping, praying, my brother would find that.

I continued watching Mabel for another hour.

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