Page 111 of Things We Burn

Kane nodded slowly and looked like he was going to say something, but I climbed in the car. The second he got in the driver’s side, I leaned forward to turn the radio all the way up.

I was doing all I could to avoid conversation, to avoid him. Yet some small part of me wanted him to turn the radio off, to face me and talk.

But he didn’t.

Not for the whole drive.

Kane

I hurt her.

It was plain to see. The naked pain on her face.

Fuck, it almost took me to my knees.

That wasn’t Avery. She wore her strength like armor, an unbreakable expression on her face meant to tell the world that she couldn’t be hurt.

Even with me in the beginning, she wore that mask. Except when I was inside her, when she was alone with me. It was a gift she gave me, that vulnerability, that openness.

It was a crime, the worst I’d committed, to betray that.

That’s what was different about her. Not the sun-kissed skin I wanted to explore every inch of. Not the freckles on her face I found so fucking pretty it hurt. Not the stomach, round with my baby that pierced my fucking heart every time my eyes landed there. No, there was no more barrier. All of her defenses had been … shredded.

She was defeated. Lost.

I hadn’t seen it last night because I was wrapped up in my own fury. Fury that I thought she deserved. I knew now that not an ounce of blame laid on her doorstep, yet I’d brought it here.

And I couldn’t take it back. Couldn’t undo the hurt. Though I spent the short drive to ‘town’ racking my brain on how to.

Avery spoke only to give me curt directions to her bakery, turning the music up to almost ear-splitting volume once done.

She needed space. I decided to give it to her, though it went against all my instincts. I wanted to pull the car over, pull her onto my lap and kiss her until she looked like my Avery again. Until she melted for me.

I wanted to be inside her again, tell her how much I loved her. But that wouldn’t work, and not just because she was logistically too large right now to fit between me and the steering wheel.

“I get sick if I don’t eat within an hour of waking.”

Something related to the pregnancy, obviously. Another small example of how she’d changed, how I needed to take care of her. Another marker of just how much I’d missed.

I didn’t know what she craved, what made her sick, what hurt her. She’d mentioned heartburn and some other things, but I didn’t learn that myself.

My hands clenched against the steering wheel thinking about how much I’d been robbed of.

While I was plotting Brax’s death, I absently looked at the town we were driving through. I didn’t see much beyond the darkness and lights as the storm was rolling in yesterday. Plus, I didn’t have the capacity to appreciate the scenery as I was riding toward the woman I thought had abandoned me. I’d come for a confrontation, yeah. But also because I had nowhere else to go. After being stripped bare to show all the things I couldn’t escape while locked up, all I wanted was to go home. Even when I was furious with her, Avery was my home.

In the bright light of day, Jupiter, Maine was fucking charming. There was no other word for it. Right on the ocean, houses dotted sparsely on the coastline, all small, quaint, well maintained. The Main Street was lined with small, unique stores, not a Starbucks to be seen. Everything gleamed with fresh coats of paint, colorful flower boxes.

It was all so fucking wholesome.

Not at all where I thought I’d end up.

But my woman had bought a house there. Mypregnantwoman.

So that was where we’d be.

Avery

I had managed to pull myself together by the time we parked the car. Kane had somehow got a spot right out front, unheard of even at that relatively early hour. It was almost summertime, which I’d learned was the peak time for tourists to visit. But even when I arrived in the late winter, locals still swarmed to the bakery, all wanting fresh pastries and coffee.