Page 17 of Things We Burn

I chewed my lip. An anxious tic from my youth that I hadn’t done in years. He was picking away at me, at the shields I’d thought were iron but he tore down like they were made of paper.

“Yeah,” he nodded, even though I hadn’t actually said anything.

With ease and strength, he tugged at my barstool, turning it to face him. He cupped my face. “Just for tonight, I’m gonna push against all that order inside of here.” He stroked my temple. “Gonna give you a taste of chaos.”

And then he kissed me. With chaos.

And all of my doubts went up in flames.

Kane’s tongue between my legs woke me up.

He didn’t even say good morning.

Just dove. Right in.

“I’ve got to go,” he rasped, mouth still glistening with … me.

I deflated, my limbs boneless as my body twitched with aftershocks.

Of course, he was eager to flee.

I’d literally fucked him on the first … not even date. We shared less than one drink together and one bite of a shitty appetizer and a midnight bowl of pasta.

I’d traded jokes and small talk full of sexual innuendo, got on a bike with him, then let him fuck me on the floor of his entryway.

Then on the floor of his bedroom.

Then in his bed.

Yep.

That sent a message.

One that did not coincide with us sharing breakfast together.

One that did not coincide with anything more than a one-night stand. One of the best nights and mornings of sex I’d had.

Ever.

A frantic sort of panic clutched on to my lungs, making it hard to breathe for a handful of seconds.

I’d never see Kane again.

Yes, I’d only met the man the previous night, and I certainly didn’t believe in love at first sight—I knew I wasn’t in love with him. But I was in ….somethingwith him. I felt changed in a pivotal way. It felt wrong and strange to go back to my life from before without Kane, without him touching me, looking at me.

I shook myself from those thoughts.

I was not being myself.

I did not get wrapped up in men.

I did not let men twist me up and ruin me.

“Yes, so do I. I’ve got to get to the docks.” My voice was cold.

His brow quirked playfully. “You work at the docks too?”

I got up from the bed, wanting to hide my nakedness with a sheet but unwilling to seem self-conscious. Being comfortable in my skin was a power move, so I gritted my teeth and didn’t think about the cellulite on my thighs or the likelihood that Kane bedded women who didn’t have a speck of it. “I need to get the catch of the day so I can plan my menu from there.”

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