Page 86 of Play It Sinful

“That’s a much bigger commitment anyway,” I chime in. “You’ll be bound to Noah forever even if things don’t work out.”

“Oh my God. Don’t say that!” Zoey complains.

Gia makes a face, and I regret my careless words. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to imply you’re doomed.”

“Who’s doomed?” Riley asks as she walks over. She looks regal. Her dress has a full tulle skirt, a sweetheart neckline, and a bodice bejeweled with tiny crystals. Jesse won’t know what hit him.

“No one.” Zoey steers her away from the group. “You shouldn’t be overhearing this. Ash is being very anti-romantic right now.”

“I’m not!” I protest, but I totally am.

“You have been rather prickly lately.” Blair fills her glass with more champagne.

I open my mouth to deny it, but Gia adds, “Agreed. What’s going on with you?”

“Nothing.” I cross my arms.

Am I acting more thorny than usual? I’m finally in a good place. Brian was a surprise. I honestly didn’t think we would go past our first date. But he’s sweet, attentive, and most important, he isn’t a total jerk like Sean.

“Sure... we believe you.” Blair smirks. “It doesn’t have anything to do with a certain stepbrother you love to hate, right?”

My spine turns rigid. To this day, none of my friends know Sean and I dated in secret during our freshman year. By a miracle, Darren, Alex, Logan, and Ryder kept their mouths shut. I regret not confiding in my friends while I was still reeling from the breakup. Pride made me clam up, and then, too much timepassed, and I didn’t want to dig up the past. It’d be like opening the wound all over again.

“Just because you and Alex are a thing now doesn’t mean all haters are secret lovers. Sometimes, there’s only hate.” A twinge of guilt enters my chest, but I’ve been lying to my friends for so long, what’s one more lie?

“But you don’t truly hate Sean, do you? He’s such a nice guy,” Gia interjects.

My heart aches. She has no idea how much pain Sean has caused me. I’m sure if I’d told her about him when we first met, she wouldn’t have the relationship she has with him now.

“It’s perfectly valid for you to have a different experience with Sean than I do, but it doesn’t mean I’m wrong about him,” I say.

I top up my champagne glass and drink the whole thing in one go. It sucks big-time that I can’t talk about Sean with my friends. But I’ve held on to this secret for too long. If I come clean now, they might not understand why I didn’t trust them before. Especially Blair. I can’t believe Alex didn’t tell her.

Shit. What if he does? No one can know now. It’d mess up too many relationships.

“Okay, okay. Let’s not talk about Sean anymore,” Gia concedes. “I want to hear about Brian.”

I relax. Finally, a subject that doesn’t give me anxiety. “He’s very nice.” I smile. “You’ll meet him today.”

“How did the trip to meet his family in Florida go?” Zoey asks as she returns to our corner of the room.

“It was intense. But everyone was friendly, and the weather was amazing.”

And most important, it gave me a solid excuse to miss spending Christmas in Boston with the family. Sean and I haven’t spent Christmas together since Chris’s heart attack. Lastyear, I went, because Sean had a game. This year, he planned on going, which meant I had to miss it.

“Not going to deny it—I got jealous of your pictures at the beach,” Gia pipes up.

“Not me! Christmas without being able to play in the snow isn’t the same,” Zoey adds.

Blair arches a brow. “How do you know? Have you ever spent Christmas in a warm place?”

A shadow crosses Zoey’s eyes. “Not in a warm place, but when you’re stuck in a hospital bed, you can’t really smell the fresh snow or play outside.”

Blair’s face falls. “Zoey, I’m so sorry. I forgot.”

Damn it. I forgot too. When she was a child, Zoey had a heart condition that kept her in and out of hospitals.

“Don’t worry about it.” Zoey shrugs, then turns to me. “I want to know more about Brian. Did you share a room in Florida?”

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