Page 5 of Play It Sinful

I sit straighter in my chair, dreading their news.

“Kids, I’ve asked Marnie to marry me, and she said yes.”

My stomach bottoms out. I can’t believe he’s already planning to remarry! The darkness inside my chest expands, taking over everything. My mind begins to spin, and it hurts. I need it to be quiet so I can think. I curl my hands into fists. My short nails dig into my palms, but the pain isn’t enough. I need more.

“For real?” Kenzie asks.

“Yes, sweetie.” Dad beams.

My sister squeaks, then grabs Ashley’s hand from across the table. “We’re gonna be sisters!”

“I know!” Ashley smiles.

Everyone is thrilled while I’m drowning. I need to get out of here. I push my chair back and stand. “Congratulations.”

Dad’s eyes widen. “Are you all right, Sean?”

“No, my stomach is upset. Can I be excused?”

“Sure.”

“Can I get you anything, hon?” Marnie asks, already getting ready to stand up.

“Don’t worry about me.”

I walk back to the house as fast as I can, but all I want to do is run far away.

Iwait until everyone is asleep to sneak out of my room. I wish I’d brought my old lunchbox after all. The house is quiet, so I walk on my tiptoes to avoid making too much noise. My heart is thundering in my chest for more reasons than one. The fear of discovery is competing with all the other stuff swirling in my chest. I have to risk it. The only way I can quiet my mind is through pain.

They left a nightlight on in the kitchen, which makes things easier for me. I don’t need to fumble through the room in the dark, looking for something sharp. It turns out I don’t have to look too hard. The kitchen knife set is on the counter.

My plan is to return to my room, but when I take the smallest knife from the set, I can’t help pressing it against the soft skin of my forearm. The first cut is always the most satisfying. Quietness follows almost immediately after the sharp sting of pain.

“What are you doing?” Ashley asks, scaring the crap out of me.

I whirl around too fast and drop the knife. Her gaze immediately focuses on the cut on my arm.

“Oh my God, Sean! You cut yourself.”

She runs to me, all panicked, feeding the mess inside me so much that I barely manage to calm down.

“Stay away from me!” I shove her back too hard, and she ends up falling on her butt.

Fear and confusion shine in her bright green eyes, making me regret my outburst. But I’m too overwhelmed to do anything about it.

“I was just trying to help,” she replies in a small voice.

“I don’t need your help. And if you tellanyoneabout this, you’ll regret it.”

I walk around her and leave her sprawled on the kitchen floor. I want to scream and break something, but I can’t. And that stupid nosy girl has taken away my only escape from the mess in my head. I hate her. She’llneverbe my sister.

CHAPTER 3

ASHLEY

EIGHT YEARS AGO

We haven’t spent a summer in Birchen Beach since Mom and Chris got engaged five years ago.

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