Page 215 of Modern Romance Collection May 2024 Books 1-4

He looked at her directly, but the eyes staring back at her did not belong to the man she had come to know over the past seventy-two hours. Not the eyes that had looked deep into hers as he had moved slowly inside her last night, sealing their emotional bond with the sharpest and sweetest physical joining of her life. Not the eyes of the man who had stroked her hair back from her face as they’d lain face to face afterwards.

‘I think you should accept the offer and go to New York,’ he responded without a single beat of hesitation, and Rae could only stare back at him harder, nonplussed and sure,certain, that she had misheard him.

Domenico thought that saying the words would break him. That forcing them out of his mouth would cause him to shatter into pieces, or at least be struck by a bolt of lightning because they were such a big lie. But they flowed from his lips without a single tremor and, once they had, he felt a brief sense of relief, because he knew the hardest part was over. He had started down the path. Now he just had to keep going.

Because he owed Rae this. The freedom to follow her rainbow to the end and find the success and happiness that awaited her there. It was what she wanted, after all. What she wanted—and needed—more than anything. And he had denied her too much and failed her in too many ways already to allow her to turn down the opportunity.

For a large part of the day that was all he had been able to think about—the poor husband he’d been. Grappling with a profound sense of guilt, Domenico had questioned if his mistakes would be too great to be overcome, if his and Rae’s past would prevent them from reaching the brighter future he knew with absolute unflinching certainty that he wanted with her. He’d known it as soon as he’d woken that morning, drained from his emotional outpouring of the night before, but with that weight of the past lifted from him, all the murkiness and insecurity bled out of him, he’d felt a freedom and clarity unlike anything he’d known before. And his every thought, every skip of his heart, had been for Rae.

He loved her. He always had. He’d just been so lost in the darkness of his thoughts that he hadn’t been able to realise it. Elena had been right. Rae was the only one for him. She did make him the best version of himself. She had healed him. Because of her, standing beside him the whole time, telling him it was okay, reminding him that he was safe, assuring him that he was not what he feared, he had finally found the strength to face his painful past and at long last been able to view it, not through the eyes of a shaken and hurt little boy, but a man who understood that people were complex and flawed.

Because of Rae, he finally understood that love was not contained in a single act of claiming or acceptance. It was something that was given and felt day in, day out in a thousand small ways. And, adopted by her or not, that was the way Elena had loved him. And the way Rae had loved him too.

Beautiful, wonderful, incredible Rae.

It was because of how wonderful she was that he knew he had to say those words again and tell her to go to New York. Because it was what she deserved, but she was so generous of heart and so used to putting others before herself that she was already hesitating to seize it.

Because of them.Him.

He’d listened to her reaction to the news, heard her uncertainty about relocating to New York, and with a sharp twist of his heart and gut had realised that she was veering on the edge of turning the offer down. And he couldn’t allow her to do that.

Rae had already sacrificed so much for him. She had given up everything she’d ever known and worked for to start a life with him in Venice, a sacrifice that he hadn’t appreciated at the time, but he did now. And then she had denied her own wants and needs so as not to upset him.

Standing in her way again was not an option. He couldn’t do it. Hewouldn’t.

No matter how much he wanted to hold on tight to her, to keep her with him for ever, never again would he be the one to hold her back, not when the emotional cost to her would be so very high.

‘I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you correctly,’ Rae breathed out quickly.

Domenico knew that she had heard him, but he repeated himself anyway, forcing himself to ignore that pain in her blue eyes and the weight hurting his chest.

‘I said that I think you should accept the job in New York.’

She looked bewildered, her forehead creasing, her eyes crinkling as they narrowed disbelievingly. ‘Why are saying that?’

‘Because you asked for my opinion. And that’s what I think you should do. It sounds like it’s an amazing opportunity for you.’

‘But if I take it, it would mean I would be living in New York, Domenico. Permanently. I wouldn’t be here. We...we wouldn’t be able to be together.’

Domenico kept a tight check on his emotions. He had to, or the words he really wanted to say would spill right out of him. Only he couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t dwell on the empty landscape that awaited him without her. He had to let her go. Whatever that meant for him afterwards was something he would just have to deal with.

He nodded blankly. ‘I understand. But we won’t be together in the New Year anyway. We’ll be divorced by then, remember?’ he said, his voice cool and calm and sounding like it belonged to someone else. ‘Our arrangement only lasts for six months, Rae.’

‘Our arrangement?’ she exclaimed. ‘Domenico, nothing that has happened in the last few days has been about the stupid charade I agreed to! The things we’ve shared with each other, everything we talked about last night—that was all real. You can’t tell me it didn’t mean anything, that it hasn’t altered anything between us.’

‘No, I won’t deny that,’ he agreed. ‘Last night changed many things. I think we understand one another far better than we ever did. But one night doesn’t fix a broken-down marriage,tesoro. And if last night revealed anything, it’s that we both want and need different things from a relationship. Things we can’t get from each other.’

She was shaking her head indignantly, colour rising in her cheeks, and she was all the more beautiful for it. He longed to reach out, place his fingers against her skin, feel that delicious combination of silk and heat.

‘No. You don’t mean that,’ she whispered. And then in a stronger voice, ‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Have you ever known me to say anything that I don’t mean, Rae?’ he parried calmly.

‘So that’s just it?’ she demanded of him. ‘None of this has meant anything to you? You’re just happy to walk away from this? From us?’

He shoved his hands into his pockets, to keep himself from reaching out for her, and faced her with a sigh. ‘There is no us, Rae. Our marriage stopped being real a long time ago. This has just been a way to...close the door for good.’

It was in that moment that she faltered, his purposely cruel words cracking her spirit and her willingness to fight. He watched the colour in her eyes and cheeks fade, watched her start to splinter inside, and he wanted so badly to go to her, but he held himself firm. Held himself back. Weakening was not an option, not when her happiness was at stake.

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