Page 203 of Modern Romance Collection May 2024 Books 1-4

Upon marrying Rae, he had adopted the same mindset. Be the best man and husband possible. To him, that had meant formalising their relationship as soon as possible, claiming her as his wife in all the traditional ways and taking care of her financially, showering her with luxury.

Only that hadn’t been enough, because it hadn’t been right. That hadn’t been what she wanted or needed from him and he hadn’t known that because he hadn’t taken the time to ask, to understand.

‘I never knew you were unhappy with how things were,’ he forced out, unable to keep the tremor from his voice as feelings twisted his insides.

Rae’s blue eyes bored into his. ‘You never asked.’

‘And you never told me,’ he shot back, suddenly as annoyed with her as he was with himself. Because he might have been ignorant, but she had been silent. She had known and hadn’t given him a chance to fix the issue and make it better. ‘If you ever needed or wanted anything, Rae, you only had to talk to me, to tell me.’

Didn’t she know that he had only ever wanted to make her happy? To give her everything he possibly could. To make up for all the pain she’d had to endure in losing her parents at such a young age and selflessly and unwaveringly taking on the care of her two younger, grief-ridden sisters. Hadn’t he shown how flexible he would be that afternoon, changing their flight arrangements so as not to disrupt her work engagement?

She gave a short laugh. ‘Except every time I tried to talk to you aboutanything, you shut it down. You shutmedown,’ she exploded emotionally. ‘In the end, there was no point in trying any more, because I knew what would happen. You’d walk away or you’d kiss me and we’d end up in bed and we’d never go back to the conversation. And if we couldn’t talk about things, what kind of marriage did we really have?’ She paused on a sad and heavy sigh, squeezing her eyes shut as though she had the power to blot out the painful memories. ‘In the end, it was easier to leave.’

Domenico stared back at her, adrenaline pulsing through his veins and thoughts spinning through his mind, but unable to find any words in response. Unable to find his voice. Because Rae was holding up a mirror and forcing him to take a hard look at his own behaviour, and what he saw he didn’t like at all. He’d made her feel shut out and disregarded and unsupported, and she had left because of that.

Because of him.

The realisation boomed in his mind like a roll of thunder, and on its heels frustration and guilt and self-recrimination tore through him, that conflagration of emotions so strong he felt as if they might burn him alive.

CHAPTER EIGHT

DOMENICOBARELYSAIDten words to Rae for the rest of the journey.

He was silent as they disembarked the plane and settled into the waiting car, a silence that continued as they made the journey from the airport to the villa on the northern tip of the island. When the car rolled through the large gates marking the entrance to the private and luxurious estate and Rae turned to him to comment on that striking first impression, she received only a distracted murmur in response and their arrival at their villa—a sprawling two-storeyed, white-and-glass-walled modern construction with access to a private slice of beach—elicited little more from him.

Now she was moving through the mundane motions of unpacking her case in a desperate effort to banish the edginess jangling in her body and mind. But, no matter what she did, she still felt...rattled.

They’d finally had the conversation that Rae had run away to avoid having and it had been as uncomfortable and unsettling as she had feared it would be, forcing her to speak her truth and exposing all the fissures and fault lines than had run through their relationship. And now the matter of their marriage, which had felt like a closed book, felt very much alive and present again, with all those truths colouring the air and mood between them.

She hadn’t thought it would be easy, but she also hadn’t been truly ready for how hard it would be either. For that level of honesty and frankness between them, or the way they had put their marriage under a microscope for inspection and dissection. It was brand-new territory for them and to Rae it was terrifying, having to pry herself apart to get to the heart of the matter. She’d always considered herself quite an open person, but once again she was realising just how inept she had been, and possibly still was, at divulging her innermost thoughts and feelings. The discomfort churning in her stomach at that realisation about herself was substantial, because she’d harboured so much frustration and resentment towards Domenico for his unwillingness to let her in emotionally, but she was guilty of the same failing. She hadn’t let him know her feelings, her scars and insecurities, had she? And, rather than divulge them to him, she had packed her bags and fled!

She hadn’t even been as honest as she could have been—or should have been—in that conversation. Yes, she had bared more of herself than she had in the past, but she had not told himeverything. She had not opened up about her mother and how affected she’d been by her husband’s death, the deep depression she’d sunk into and never emerged from. And until Domenico knew that part of Rae’s story, how could any of her actions make sense to him?

But baring that to him would require letting him in even further to her heart and soul, a prospect that was heart-stoppingly frightening. Because then he would know her in a way that no one else did. He would know all of her, even the broken places deep inside her.

Her anxiety levels spiking at the thought of generating such intimacy with him, Rae rose from the edge of the bed and wandered out onto the balcony, grateful for the gentle caress of the cool evening air against her too warm skin. Resting her arms atop the slim ledge, she closed her eyes, pleading with her body to settle down, but the peace was disturbed by the slap and splash of water.

Peering downwards towards the infinity pool, she saw Domenico slicing through the water, the span of his arms large and strong, his broad body a flash of bronzed gold in the clear water. Her body coiled, tensing with the rush of heated feeling, and Rae looked harder, wanting to see more of him, her heart kicking in her chest and, just like that, the memory of last night, of that solid body pressed up against hers, whipped through her mind, making her head whirl.

She imagined herself going down to him, quietly slipping off her clothes and joining him in the pool, letting the water carry her towards him until they were body to body, flesh against flesh. Until there was just the simplicity of desire, the complexity of all other emotions banished.

Alarmed by the force of the need pressing in on her, Rae hastily drew back into the shadows. That would be a very bad idea indeed. She wasn’t there to relight anything and she didn’t need to get in even deeper than she already was. What she needed was to remain detached enough to walk away intact at the end of the six months. So if Domenico was wounded and annoyed, maybe the wisest thing was to allow it, to let the issue wedge itself between them and prevent any further closeness.

But...her conscience prompted.

But...didn’t he deserve a full explanation? Wasn’t it only fair to both of them to clear the air completely, so that they could put the past to bed and move on? Based on the mess they were currently in, hiding her thoughts and feelings hadn’t worked out well in the past, and as long as she concealed that piece of her past from him, wouldn’t she remain uneasy, troubled by her cowardice?

She’d agreed to the arrangement to prove that she had changed and grown as a person, and perhaps learning to be more comfortable speaking her emotional truth was part of that journey too. And she could hardly continue to bemoan Domenico’s emotional secrecy if she wasn’t willing to be unreservedly honest herself. Even if the thought of letting him know her that deeply, that intimately, was absolutely terrifying...

But there was no time like the present, she decided and, without giving it another moment’s thought, she turned and started down the steps towards the pool.

The swim had been a good idea.

Powering through length after length of the infinity pool had eased the spinning of Domenico’s mind, and helped him to wrestle the demons and insecurities back into the box they’d sprung free from following all of Rae’s startling revelations.

As he rested his arms against the edge and admired the glorious view as the sun disappeared into the horizon and painted the sky with streaks of sunset pink and red and wisps of fiery orange, he felt much calmer and in far better control of himself, which he needed to be. The outcome of the deal with Lorca was resting on the success of the weekend. There was too much at stake for him to be undone by his emotions.

And yet it was not the all-important deal that his mind chose to focus on as he relished those moments of the evening quiet. It was Rae. And their marriage. And all the ways he had screwed up.

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