Page 127 of Modern Romance Collection May 2024 Books 1-4

“What?”

She turned then, hated seeing the frustration and confusion on his face.

“Why do you want to marry me? Why, after dismissing me, did you change your mind?”

He reached up and cupped her face. She leaned into his touch, the same way she had in Paris, her heart teetering on the edge of hope and anguish.

“Because I realized you were the right choice. We work well together. We both love Rodina. We can do more for the people as a team than any of the women my father had listed. And he agreed. He supported my choice. But this was my plan for us.”

Each sentence he uttered was a death knell to hope. How cruel was life to dangle such an incredible week in front of her, to tease her with intimacy and tenderness and newfound confidence, only to rip it away once more?

“I’m an asset in my own way, then.”

He frowned. “It’s not just that, Esmerelda. We care about each other. Genuinely care,” he added, his emphasis ongenuinemaking her nauseous.

“I need more than that, Julius.”

His lips parted. But nothing was said.

Her heart gave one last, painful gasp. Then a shield dropped down, the same shield she’d used to utter her words of resignation and walk out of his office all those weeks ago.

“I see.”

“Damn it, Esmerelda, I just regained my memory. I’m shirking generations of tradition because I want you as my wife.”

“You didn’t even ask me what I wanted.” She stepped back. “If becoming your queen was what I wanted. You just assumed I’d jump at the chance. You planned everything without asking what I wanted.”

“I told you, we can do the engagement and the wedding—”

“What about after?” she asked, repeating his words from the night when they’d stood on the storm-tossed beach. “After the pretty pictures and the walk down the aisle?”

“My father would abdicate one year after our marriage. I would become king and you would be queen.”

“Would I be like your cousin? Like Vera? Going to luncheons and sitting on charity boards?”

“My mother did.” His voice cooled even as anger leapt into his eyes. “She served Rodina. Her work was no less important.”

“And from what I remember your father saying, she loved it. She was good at it because she loved it. But for me...” Her voice trailed off as she sought to put her chaotic thoughts into words, to explain what she was feeling. “What about economic forums? The trade summit we attended? Would I just be an ornament or actually serve the people?”

His frown deepened. “My mother was no mere ornament. The queen is a figurehead. A leader who serves the people, too.”

She stood frozen in place. Part of her, the part that had never stopped loving him, urged her to accept the ring. To be with the man she had fallen for. But the woman she’d become, the woman she was growing into, hesitated. She had just broken free of the expectations of others. She knew people like Julius’s mother, like Vera, were needed.

Did it make her selfish, then, that she wanted something different?

Excluding the details of the role, was accepting his ring, especially one tied to duty with no room for love, just going back to an old pattern? Saying yes with the hope that someone might one day love her in return, even as she lived out her days as an ornament instead of an equal partner?

His lips thinned. “I take it marrying me is not what you want then.”

She threw her hands up in the air. “I don’t know, Julius! I’ve always tried to live for others’ expectations. To be dismissed one week and then proposed to the next, because I’m valuable...” She nearly choked on the last word. “I know public appearances are important. Charities are critical. But to have that be my life...my only life...”

“It’s more than that.” Thunder moved across his face, darkened his eyes as a vein pulsed in his throat. “I thought you would understand duty.”

“I do. But... I want more than just duty, Julius. You know the kind of woman I am, how much I read and research and stay involved with what’s going on with our country. Whether or not I’m queen, the woman who is by your side deserves to have a choice in how she serves.”

“Being a royal rarely provides choices.”

“But there is more than one way to rule,” she insisted. “You taught me that, showed me that every time you and father disagreed on something. Why can’t a queen do more than be a public figurehead?”

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