Page 58 of Modern Romance Collection December 2024 Books 5-8

She followed him off the podium, the press secretary and the police chief fielding the questions as Travis led her up the staircase at the back of the stateroom, to her library.

But once they were inside the room, away from the media hordes, she gathered what was left of her courage and her strength and pulled her hand out of his.

She walked into the middle of the room, the scent of lemon polish suffocating her.

She turned to find him watching her, with the intensity she had once found so exciting. But it only made the chasm inside her feel more real. And more empty.

‘Why are you here? Why did you come back?’ she asked, her voice surprisingly firm, given that she was breaking apart inside, because she knew he could only have returned to fulfil the terms of their agreement.

‘Haven’t you figured it out yet, Belle?’ he asked, softly.

She shook her head.

He walked towards her. ‘I’ve done something real dumb,’ he murmured, his voice low. ‘I’ve fallen in love with my fake wife.’

He placed his rough palm on her cheek. She reared away from him, even as the fierce yearning gripped her all over again.

‘Please don’t touch me,’ she managed, but her voice broke on the words, shaming her even more. ‘And please don’t lie to me.’

She might be needy, desperate, delusional, but she refused to let him see her break. Or she would have nothing left when he walked away again.

‘I’m not lying, not this time,’ he said, his voice implacable, the gaze coasting over her full of admiration and something else... Something fierce and...

She yanked herself back for the second time. But it was so much harder this time.

‘All I need to know is do you feel the same way?’ he asked.

‘Please don’t ask me that,’ she begged, hating the neediness in her voice. ‘It isn’t fair.’

The tears rolled down her cheeks, the tears she had promised herself she wouldn’t shed. She scrubbed them away with impatient fists.

He stepped forward again and grasped her shoulders to tug her against his chest. That sure solid chest, the steady beat of his heart something she had come to trust.

‘Damn it, Belle, I’m sorry. I was a coward.’ He wrapped his arms around her. Strong and unyielding, but it wasn’t enough to control the fear. ‘I knew what was happening between us. It was always more than just sex. But I didn’t want to acknowledge it, because it would mean admitting I needed you. And I haven’t admitted needing anyone since I was a kid.’

She lurched out of his arms again. The accusation sharp in her voice to hold the traitorous tears at bay. ‘I—I don’t believe you... You left me, like they did, when I asked you to stay.’

The words spewed out on a wave of vulnerability, leaving her feeling more exposed. But when he grasped her upper arms, and pulled her back towards him, this time she couldn’t resist the urge to be held. To matter.

‘I know, baby...’ He pressed his cheek to her hair. ‘Like I said, I was a coward. But if you can forgive me, we can build something better. I swear.’

The bubble of hope pressed against her ribs, but the fear of rejection only made it more painful, more terrifying. ‘You have to tell me why.’

He lifted his head, his expression tortured, yet sincere. ‘Why what?’ he said, but she suspected he knew what she was asking.

‘Why did you find it so hard to admit there was more between us?’ she forced herself to ask, demanding more from him despite the terrible uncertainty that still remained between them. ‘Why did you walk away when you knew I needed you to stay?’ She sighed, finally asking the question she had asked once before, and he had refused to answer. ‘What happened to that boy, Travis, to make him so sure he didn’t need anyone?’

He swore softly, then let her go. She felt the loss immediately. But the hope expanded in her chest when he crossed to the library’s tall, mullioned window. And stared out into her kingdom. The kingdom she wanted so desperately to share with him.

‘Does it have anything to do with your father?’ she asked.

He swung round. ‘How do you know that?’

‘Because I know exactly what it feels like to never be enough,’ she said simply.

He stared at her for the longest time, then he turned back to the view of the gorge. But when he began to speak, she could hear the insecurity in his voice, which he had always refused to share, until now.

‘When I was twelve, he came to one of my events. For some dumb reason, I thought he was there for me.’ He hitched a shoulder, the movement stiff and jerky and so unlike him. ‘And I was overjoyed. I knew I could win—I was the favourite.’ He dropped his head, his back so rigid she could feel him remembering the pain of that rejection, and her heart hurt, too. ‘I figured if I could ace the field, he’d finally want me. I killed myself that day, took a ton of dumb risks. But what I didn’t know was that a couple of the other competitors were his real sons, the kids he was really there to support.’

---