Page 51 of Modern Romance Collection December 2024 Books 5-8

The courage and selflessness in that email still sickened him.

Who was he to judge her old man, or his own, when he was just as much of a selfish jerk?

‘Except her last Christmas,’ he blurted out, not sure why he was confessing to her.

But when he saw the misguided sympathy cloud her eyes again, he knew why.

Isabelle’s selflessness—her willingness to blame herself for something that had never been her fault—put his own selfishness into context. Plus, it was way past time he confronted the crappy way he’d behaved back then—to the only woman who had ever made the mistake of loving him.

‘She must have known the cancer was terminal,’ he said, the guilt twisting in his gut, the hideous fear and panic after that initial diagnosis still there after all these years. ‘But I was way too focussed on winning some dumb competition to notice what was right in front of my eyes. I didn’t ask about her prognosis, because I was scared to hear the answer. So, I stayed in France over that whole Christmas, convincing myself I needed the extra time in training to work on my jumps. But the real reason was that I didn’t want to go home and watch her struggle. I didn’t want to have to confront the truth. It was cowardly and mean. And I still regret it. Which is why I’m not much fun to be around at Christmas either.’

Instead of seeing what he was trying to tell her—about what selfishness really looked like—Isabelle’s eyes darkened even more, with a compassion he had no right to.

She reached out and clasped the hand he had resting on the bar. ‘But, Travis, you were just a boy. And she was so important to you. Of course you were terrified,’ she said, the empathy in her voice rich with emotion.

He tugged his hand free to cup her cheek, feeling her tiny shiver of awareness. And wished, if only for a moment, he could be a better man. A man worthy of a woman like her.

Not the queen, but the woman beneath. Her loyalty to the people she loved could never be shaken, even when they didn’t deserve it. She was much stronger than he had ever been.

‘Don’t feel sorry for me, Belle,’ he said. ‘I don’t deserve it.’

She opened her mouth to protest, but he slid his thumb across her bottom lip to stop her. And felt her delicious shudder.

‘The point is, if your folks hadreallyloved you, if they had deserved you, they wouldn’t have abandoned you like that,’ he said. ‘They would have stuck around to be with you. Especially at Christmas.’

Just as he should have stuck around for his mom.

‘That they didn’t is on them. Not you,’ he finished.

The glitter of tears in her eyes crucified him a little more, especially when she eased out an unsteady breath and nodded. ‘I guess... Yes, perhaps they really shouldn’t have been quite so willing to leave me like that,’ she said. The sadness was still there, but somehow the hopelessness was gone.

He was glad.

‘Ya think?’ he murmured, and she smiled, the bright sweet smile that lit up her whole face.

‘Come on,’ he said, walking round the breakfast bar to grab her arm, suddenly determined to make this Christmas the best she’d ever had—which wasn’t going to be much of a challenge, by the sound of it. After all, it was the least he could do after the crummy way he’d treated her, too.

‘I can’t go nuts today thanks to my bum knee,’ he said. And as much as he would love to, they couldn’t lose themselves in sex either, because she was probably still a little sore. Although he saw no reason not to make the most of this chemistry now they had come to an agreement about what this meant and what it didn’t. ‘But how about I teach you how to snowboard so we can both get through today without any more drama? I’ve got some spare kit you can use.’

Her eyes gleamed, the sparkle of excitement as captivating as it was refreshing. ‘Actually, I think I would like that very much,’ she said.

His own excitement soared. But as he dragged her into the mud room, to get them both tooled up, he could almost feel his mom looking down on them both and hear her voice—her tone loving, and supportive, but also well aware of all his flaws.

About damn time you stopped moping around, Travis. I swear, what are Christmases for but to have fun? You’ve wasted far too many of them since I’ve been gone.

As they messed about in the snow for the rest of the day, the guilt that had crippled him at Christmas for so long let go its hold on him. Because they ended up creating new memories, full of laughter, while they wrestled together in the snow, and he taught her the basics of boarding while trying to prevent them both from falling on their asses.

But that night, while they stripped off in front of the fire—and he watched her give herself over to the explosive passion they shared—the emotion he still didn’t understand, that surge of protectiveness and possessiveness, blindsided him all over again.

And scared the heck out of him. Again.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

One week later

‘HOLDON,BELLE, don’t go over yet. I want you with me this time...’

Travis’s harsh demand brushed against Isabelle’s ear as his strong arms held her upright, and his driving thrusts impaled her.

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