Page 47 of Modern Romance Collection December 2024 Books 5-8

She climbed off his lap, the tenderness in her sex nothing compared to the sore spot in her heart. She scooped up the robe, feeling awkward and unsure, and more naked than she ever had before.

How could she have been so naïve to believe that throwing herself at this man, having sex with him, would be a simple fix?

He had stood up and put his T-shirt and shorts back on by the time she had tugged on her panties under the robe. But as she went to pass him, to escape to her room, he grasped her wrist.

‘Not so fast, Belle,’ he said.

‘I... I need to shower,’ she replied, trying to tug her arm loose.

‘Don’t you think we ought to have a conversation first?’ he asked, but as before it wasn’t really a question.

‘About what?’ she said, but she already knew from the frown on his face.

‘You know what about,’ he said. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin until I was inside you?’

She heard it then, the suspicion in his voice, alongside the frustration. She forced herself to push the guilt to one side—and that old familiar feeling of inadequacy that she had spent so much of her childhood conquering.

‘I didn’t think you would care,’ she replied, even though it wasn’t entirely the truth. She hadn’t thought about his reaction because she’d believed she could hide her inexperience, that he wouldn’t know, that he wouldn’t find out. But why had she been so scared of him discovering the truth? What exactly was she so ashamed of?

‘Seriously?’ he said, the brittle cynicism cutting. ‘You don’t think I deserved to know, before I’d done something I couldn’t undo?’

She heard it then, the note of accusation, as if she’d tricked him somehow.

Her own temper sparked, burning away some of the guilt and anxiety. Surely her sexual history was her own to divulge, as she chose. And what exactly was he accusing her of?

‘If you didn’t enjoy it,’ she announced through gritted teeth, ‘I apologise.’

Maybe she’d done something wrong. It wouldn’t be the first time—given the disastrous way their wedding night had ended. But she refused to stand here and let him make her feel less than.

‘You know damn well I enjoyed it,’ he all but snarled. ‘You practically blew my head off. That’s not the point.’

The pulse of heat at his back-handed praise only upset and confused her more.

‘Well, whatisthe point, then, Travis?’ She threw the words back at him to cover the emptiness inside her, and the hum of arousal that made her feel like a fool.

‘The point is, we were just supposed to be blowing off steam here, but now this... This...’ He jerked his thumb back and forth between them, his gaze dark with a turmoil of emotions. ‘Thisthingbetween us is a much bigger deal. And you know it.’

She stared at him.

‘Why is it?’ she asked, hopelessly confused now as well as upset. Why was this a big deal for him?

‘Because I don’t seduce virgins, okay? Because that would make me an even bigger bastard than the son of a—’ The words cut off abruptly, his tanned cheeks darkening with the flush of temper—and emotion.

He swore under his breath. Then raked unsteady fingers through his hair. ‘Forget it.’

Her own anger faded, the shocked, unhappy expression on his face making him seem suddenly vulnerable.

He let go of her wrist and walked away from her, the slight limp making her empathy for him rise up to choke her as she recalled the way he had spoken with such disgust about the father he insisted he had no feelings for.

The man who had taken advantage of his mother by seducing her as a seventeen-year-old virgin.

He stood, alone, looking out at the dark snowy night, his back ramrod-straight, his body rigid with tension. As he fought demons he had pretended not to care about a couple of days ago.

The urge to go to him, to help him conquer those demons, made her heart thunder against her ribs. But she stopped herself from giving in to that urge, however powerful.

The sex had already meant more than it should have—the emotional fall-out still churning inside her, too. And while a part of her wanted desperately to take that haunted, ashamed expression off his face, she knew she couldn’t afford to make herself a part of his struggle. Especially as he had made it clear he didn’t want her to.

So she simply said, ‘I’m not seventeen, Travis. I’m twenty-two. And I understand this can never be more than just sex.’

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