Page 20 of Throttle All the Way

I gave her a moment and then reached over her, flicking on the bedside lamp. The dim light flooded the room.

“You…Cipher, what the fuck are you doing?”

I stepped back, watching her struggle, her fiery glare cutting through me. She kicked at the sheets, her body writhing as she tried to free herself. It was a sight that made my blood burn, but guilt gnawed at the edges of my resolve.

“Let me go!” she shouted, her voice rising. “You’re insane!”

“Calm down, Mila,” I said, my voice low and steady, though my pulse was anything but. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Not going to hurt me?” she spat, her eyes blazing. “You tied me to a fucking bed! You’ve been following me, haven’t you? This whole time, it was you!”

“It’s not what it looks like,” I tried to explain, but the words felt hollow even to me.

Her laugh was sharp, bitter. “Not what it looks like? You just forced me to…to do things with you, and you’re telling me this isn’t what it looks like? Are you fucking delusional?”

I leaned in, close enough to feel her breath on my skin. “Watch your mouth, Mila.”

“What do you want from me?” she demanded, her voice breaking.

“I just want to keep you safe.”

Her laugh was humorless, her eyes filled with fury. “By tying me up? By…fucking…me?”

The accusation hit like a punch to the gut, but I didn’t flinch. I’d crossed every line tonight, pushed her far past any boundaries. But something deep inside me wouldn’t let me stop.I needed her to understand, needed her to listen. And if this was the only way to make her stay, so be it.

“You’re not leaving, Mila,” I said firmly, my voice leaving no room for argument. “Not until I know you’re safe. Even if it means keeping you here by force.”

Her struggles slowed, her breaths coming in sharp gasps as she glared up at me. “You’re a bastard, Cipher. A fucking bastard.”

I smirked, the corner of my mouth twitching. “That, I won’t argue with.”

“Let me go,” she cried.

“I can’t do that, angel.”

“Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

I sighed, still hovering over her curvy frame. I ignored my male instincts and focused on what the whole point of this was. “Yulian Volkov is in Washington.”

Her eyes widened as she searched mine. "What? How is he even allowed back into the States?"

"That's what we are trying to find out. And I am so close to bringing him down, Mila. So close.”

“What does that have to do with me. With this?” She struggled against the restraints once again.

“I can't focus on him if I'm constantly trying to catch you, Mila. You have to stop running, baby."

Tears continue to brim over and run down her cheeks. "He's going to kill me. I can't stay here,"

“If you don’t stay I can’t keep you safe.”

“I don’t need anyone to keep me safe. Least of all you. You’re more of a monster than he ever was for what you did to me.”

Her words cut deep, although I knew she said them out of anger, so I swallowed the sting and leaned over her, my hands pressing gently against her arms, soothing her frantic movements. She stared up at me, her chest heaving, tearsstreaking her cheeks. God, she was beautiful, even like this—defiant, furious, vulnerable.

"You need to trust me, Mila," I said softly, my voice breaking under the weight of my own guilt. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I got so close, that I—" I stopped myself, the words choking in my throat. There was no excuse for what I’d done.

She turned her head away, her tears soaking the pillow beneath her. "Yulian has already destroyed me, Cipher," she whispered, her voice cracking. "There's not much more you could do to hurt me."

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