Page 25 of At Your Door

Griffon is wearing a strap.

CHAPTER 14

MIA

Friday morning hit me like a ton of bricks. As I rolled over to bury myself deeper into the covers, I jolted awake when I didn't immediately feel the edge of the bed. My mind reeled with confusion at how my bed had seemingly grown in size, but as my eyes cracked open, I was quickly reminded of my reality.

I’m in Griffon's bed.

In a matter of seconds, everything flooded back like a tsunami. My eyes clenched shut as the nauseating feeling of shame spread rapidly through me.

Before I could let those thoughts fully settle, I yanked the comforter away and raced to the bathroom to shower. I wish I could say that as the water ran down my back, it washed away everything I felt, but the embarrassment seeped through my pores. My cheeks burned with remembrance as last night's interactions replayed in my mind.

There’s so much to unpack here that I don't know where to begin.

What was I thinking?

First, the fact that I went out at all is already shocking. But to go to a gay club, drink, dance,andflirt?

Yeah, that was probably enough wild cards to last me a lifetime.

But what I probably could have lived without the thought of is me following Griffon out of the club like a lost puppy, after all, that I did to try and flip the script from fake flirting with a stranger to get her attention to dancing on top of someone right in her view. She still won at the end of the night; I never once fought back when she grabbed my arm and dragged me along. Instead, I was silent; the air around us felt thick, and no word could make it through, even if I tried.

I don't even think I can mentally break down what happened in the car ride home without my cheeks turning crimson and my skin feeling like it's on fire. I have so many questions that I don't know if I even want answers. I almost wish I had drunk more because the way I can play it in my head like a movie makes me double over in the shower as my stomach turns with regret.

I regret that I even went out last night because now that I’ve felt… her, it's all I can think about. Even in the shower, my legs are wobbly, and I remember the look on her face when I turned around.

The smirk on her face told me shewantedme to find it.

She wanted to see how I would react.

But I didn't say a single word and was completely stuck. With every inch I moved, it moved with me. Griffon noticed, too; her hand was still on my waist the rest of the car ride home. And again, I didn't fight it; the feeling of her fingers slowly caressing me left me breathless as the sound of my heartbeat throbbing flooded my ears. And when we finally returned home, I couldn't escape her faster.

As I begin to get dressed for work, my mind is completely elsewhere. It feels like I'm in a complete daze; all I can see is Griffon.

Fuck, I need to get the hell out of here before I burst into flames.

For the first time in a long time, the thought of grinding coffee beans has me rushing around like a maniac. I was already planning on avoiding her as much as possible, but now I feel like I’d rather just stay in my own waterless apartment. It’d be for the best; I must let this whole thing go. I don’t know what I got myself into, but I can’t shake how my skin ignites and electrifies when Griffon is around.

Every interaction I’ve had with her, she’s either put me on the spot or left me speechless, and I hate it.

It’s uncomfortable, feeling like you are fully on display.

Surprisingly, though, I haven't heard her all morning, so I’m counting on her already being at work. Hopefully, that work is actually in my apartment.

As I leave her bedroom and through the hallway, my body instantly relaxes when I peek around the corner and notice the living room is completely empty. Quickly, I check the kitchen, and when I see it's the same, my head falls back in relief.

The last thing I needed was to face her right now, not when I had the idea of her wearing a strap-on floating around in my head.

But now that I’m alone and have a few extra minutes, I set my bag down on the kitchen counter and find a glass to get some water. I finally feel like I can take a deep breath.

But I should’ve known that was too good to be true because as soon as I sat down on a stool, I heard the sound of keys jingling by the front door. My body instantly stiffens as my eyes rake over the kitchen before landing on a stack of mail. Within seconds, my body lurches across the counter for the newspaper sitting on top, and I don't think twice before opening it up and flipping to a random page.

I don't turn around when I finally hear the front door open and close. Instead, I yell a short and sweet “Hey! Good morning!” and bury myself deeper into the paper.

But there's no response, not even a little bit of movement. At first, I think she isn't actually there until I finally hear her slow footsteps heading in my direction, and my grip on the black-and-white paper tightens. My palms are already sweaty, and I can feel it starting to rip in my hands.

The energy shift is intimidating, and immediately, I begin to ramble.