Page 87 of His Hungry Wolf

Feeling lost, I wondered how I had gotten here. I had flipped out. There was no doubt about it. But why? Had Merri’s request been so crazy? It hadn’t been. This was the way the world worked. Yet, I couldn’t get myself to even consider it. Why was that?

Looking around at the empty streets surrounding me, I knew who would have the answer.

“Momma?”

“Claude, how are you?” She asked cheerfully.

“Not good, Momma. Can you pick me up? I’m at the airport bus stop.”

“Of course, Son. What are you doing home?”

“I’ll tell you later. Can you just pick me up?”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thanks, Momma,” I said, ending the call and lowering my face into my hands.

Seeing Momma’s car pull up forty-five minutes later was a sight for sore eyes. Grabbing my bag and getting in, she honored my silence. That lasted until we were ten minutes away from home.

“I’ve given you long enough. Do you care to tell me what you’re doing back so soon? I have your showcase marked on the calendar. It’s not for another few weeks.”

“I’m not in the showcase anymore,” I told her.

“You aren’t? Why not?”

I considered not getting into it and then realized that if I were ever to get over what it was that had me, I was going to have to talk about it.

“Because I think I’m broken, Momma,” I said, fighting to keep my tears from falling.

“Baby, you’re not broken. You’re the strongest young man that I know.”

“I’m not, Momma. I’m screwed up. Why did you tell me that the survival of all our kind depended on what I did? I was only 8 years old.”

Momma got serious.

“I told you it because it was true. You can’t afford to pretend like things are the same for you as they are for other people. The world is too dangerous for that, especially in a town like ours.”

“Momma, what are you talking about? My whole life I’ve been scared to reveal any part of myself thinking that if someone found out what I am, me, my momma and everyone like us would die. Do you really think Titus or Nero would ever hunt us down and kill us?”

“So now you’re telling me that no one cares about what we are? With your many years of experience, you’re tryin’ tell your Momma what you think you know?”

“I’m not trying to do anything. I’m telling you what my experience has been. And I’m not saying that there aren’t people out there who fear us. I’m not even saying that someone won’t try to hurt us. I’m sure someone would.”

“Then, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you made me believe that the only way I could keep you safe was to shut myself off from the world and never let anyone in. That’s a lot to put on an 8 year old.”

“So, I guess you’re telling me that the way I raised you is wrong? Is that it?”

I thought about that.

“I don’t know what wrong is, Momma. I just know that the way you raised me had consequences. And now my life is one big consequence I can’t get past.”

“Is this about that blonde boy who was at our house?”

“His name is Merri, Momma,” I said sadly.

“Then, is this about Merri?”

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