Page 55 of His Hungry Wolf

“What’s that?”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone you played football at university?” Titus asked delicately.

I opened my mouth to speak. I was going to say, I don’t know. But I stopped myself, knowing it wasn’t the truth.

“I have a problem opening up,” I told him honestly.

“Why is that?”

“God knows. It could be because of something my mother said to me when I was eight. Or because I didn’t feel like I had anyone I could trust growing up. Or maybe it’s just because I don’t want people to see what I really am.”

“That’s rough,” Titus said, nodding empathetically.

“I don’t want to be like this anymore.”

“Be like what?”

“Distant. Alone. I don’t want to carry everything on my shoulders anymore. I want to be able to open up.”

“Then, why don’t you?”

“I don’t know how. I’ve tried. I try to share things. I even come up with rules where I’m required to break my habits. But every time I’m in the situation and I know I have the opportunity, I choose not to. I can’t do it.”

“Sure you can,” Titus said encouragingly.

“I can’t. Believe me, I’ve tried. I tried with Merri.”

“And what happened?”

“He asked if we could pretend it didn’t happen.”

Titus thought for a moment.

“You like Merri, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, defeated.

“I mean, in the way I like Lou.”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“He seemed like a nice guy.”

“He has his moments.”

“Do you think he feels the same way about you?”

“I know he used to.”

“Have you told him how you feel?”

“You mean with words?”

Titus laughed.

“Yeah, with words.”

“I’m not great at that.”

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