Page 89 of His Hungry Wolf

I thought about that for a while.

“Have you ever experienced this?” I eventually asked her.

“I thought I had, once.”

“What happened?”

“He wasn’t who I thought he was. I did get something out of it, though.”

“What was that?”

“You,” Momma said with a smile.

“Are you talking about my father?”

“I am.”

“What was his name again?”

“Armand Clement,” Momma said with a wistful smile.

“Right.”

“And have you experienced anything like that?” She asked hopefully.

I considered the question. Had I? During my three years at university, I had never felt hungry. The hunger returned when I left and then ended the day Merri watched me play Cage’s scrimmage.

I had always worried that I had been draining the opponents during games. Because where else could I be feeding? But after spending the summer with Merri, I hadn’t felt hungry once.

It had always been Merri. He was who I was feeding from. He was the other half of my knot.

“I might have,” I told Momma.

“Are you talking about Merri?”

I tightened my lips and nodded.

“That little blonde boy is a cute one. If I was thirty years younger…”

“And he was straight?” I asked her.

She laughed.

“I guess you can have him. But, Son,” she said sincerely, “please, whatever you do, don’t let me be the cause of your unhappiness. It would break my heart,” she said before squeezing my hand, opening her door, and then leaving me there to think.

Chapter 15

Merri

“Get your head in the game, Merri,” Papa yelled, snapping me back to reality. “Am I gonna have to replace you?”

“No, Coach,” I replied, wondering how many people had heard him.

Looking around, I realized the answer was everyone. I was screwing up again. I couldn’t stop screwing up.

Claude was supposed to be here with me. Not on the sidelines of the Hall of Fame game. But, in Ohio and in the stands.

He had left me, again. Was I worth so little to everyone? Would anyone even care if I wasn’t around?

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