Page 87 of Finding Closure

“I’m grieving him only too really,” Izzy said quietly. “I didn’t know Queen Meira.” She cleared her throat and squeezed my hand. “Besides, all of the light realm is mourning her and has been. We were the lucky few who truly knew Lageos.”

I nodded, surprised she was even there, but then… No, I wasn’t. Izzy was already around.

Had she been this morning and I’d missed it? Probably.

She’d forgive me.

Once they were laid out on the viewing altars, I went and knelt next to him. For a week, they would be outside for people to say goodbye to like a human wake. During the day at least. At night they would be inside the castle in the throne room where only family and those allowed in the castle could visit them.

I lowered my head against the stone and cried until someone carried me off. Lucca. I was pretty sure it was Lucca.

They made me eat, but the moment I had enough energy, I went right back to stay with my dad. It hurt worse each time I left him… Like it was sinking in that he was really gone.

“I had so much left to say,” I choked out when Julian tried to bring me back to our suite.

“You always would have, Tams,” he rasped. “No matter how much time you had—I still feel that way about my da too. I’m older and have more to say. There is never enough time no matter how much you had.” He cupped my cheek. “But we need you to stay with us, not go with him, okay? Please.”

I nodded and let him carry me off.

But I snuck out later. Onas was sitting with them reading, a few others were there sitting peacefully or snoozing. It meant a lot to me that people heard me that I was worried.

Even if my parents were protected magically.

“I couldn’t leave my parents either when they died,” Onas whispered when he saw me. “Most of us know that pain well.”

I sniffled loudly and nodded. “How did they die?”

“In war,” he said sadly. “Many wars ago.” He cleared his throat as if unsure of what he wanted to say next. He waited until I nodded for him to go ahead. “My mother went first. She was a healer and was bold, died because of it. My father faded as yours did. Only he did over a hundred years, and it broke my soul to watch. I had such dark thoughts because of it.”

He wanted to end his dad’s suffering so he could be with his mate. Yeah, that had to hurt.

“Thank you, Onas,” I whispered. “I’m sorry you know this pain.” He was blurry when I looked at him. “How long until I feel like I’m not dying too?”

He reached out and ran his hand over my hair. “I hope not as long as it took me. You have more support and love in your life than I ever have. They won’t let you suffer and fall into darkness. You’ll be okay, Your Majesty.”

I nodded, thanking him again before kneeling next to my dad.

That was all I wanted to do. I stood outside like I was dead too, watching people cry and pray over my parents—mostly my mother. One of my guys would crack and carry me off to refuel or hydrate while the others stayed and acted in my place.

“She’s not eating enough,” Neldor whispered after the third day. “This is getting dangerous, especially with her new power level. She’s like a zombie.”

“That’s normal,” Julian sighed. “It is, Neldor. Others who have lost parents and family are saying it as well. You had traumatic—sometimes I don’t think you have grieved losing your da because of how it happened. Your mum is—she’s doing okay. We just keep watching her and helping.”

But he was scared too. I could hear it.

“I want the burritos I ate with my dad,” I heard myself say. “He’d get a kick out of that. Us sitting around here eating those huge burritos he loved.”

“I know the place,” Izzy promised, coming over and kissing my hair. “Yeah, he’d love that. He’s probably up in Paradise bitching that he doesn’t get one too.”

I snorted. That sounded like my dad for sure.

When they came, I forced it into my mouth. Then the next one. I put away five before I couldn’t make myself eat anymore.

It was the fourth day when I was kneeling and praying before they brought my parents outside that something happened. I felt the jolt and received the vision. It took me a minute to shake off the shock of it, and I sat back on my feet as my body settled with it.

Then I burst out laughing. I covered my face and laughed.

“Tams? Come on, shorty, you’re scaring me and River,” Hudson whimpered as he shook me.

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