Page 68 of Finding Closure

After that… It was more complicated for me. Normally, there were two weeks of mourning after the old queen was laid to rest before the new coronation, but we were doing it backwards.

So it would be my coronation and party that night.

And then I had to unfreeze my mom the next morning. I thought that was too soon, but I didn’t disagree that it was always going to be too soon to lose my dad and not feel right. The sentiment seemed to be that if I needed an extra day, no one would judge me, but it had to happen.

It really did.

Yeah, I knew that too, but it all seemed so cold. I was scheduling my dad’s death.

Fucked up didn’t quite cover that.

Then I would have two weeks of mourning, and there was a whole process to that. The ceremonies and viewing of my parents. Cleansing the castle and government buildings on my family lands—lots of everything.

And we hadn’t done the ones in the dark realm after Elora died and really needed to, but it seemed wrong to do one without the other. Neldor and I had discussed that but yeah, we would do his family’s everything together.

After all of that, it was agreed that I would have two weeks to let my new position sink in. I could gather any changes and have everything ready. All government would basically be shut down until my new government went into effect. Not emergency services and whatnot, but… It was basically a vacation for all our bureaucracies.

It was what Faerie wanted. It was a blend of what used to be and the actual intent.

I wasn’t about to argue it because I was pretty damn sure I would need the time to get my shit together after losing my dad.

But setting it all up from my graduation party to the cleansing before my coronation to my actual coronation—all of it was a lot.

And my dad kept talking about handling his belongings offhandedly like we were packing for a road trip instead of himdying on me. That broke me and I lost my head—completely exploded.

I was a total bitch. He was going to die and I was making it all about me. So yeah, I was exhausted and a mess and just… A super, complete, and total mess.

Awesome.

Needless to say, I didn’t sleep well and instead got up by myself for second or third dinner and then quietly settled into my new room. I finally unpacked the pictures that Hudson had framed of us flying or when he was in his human form too. Then the ones Neldor had gotten me for my birthday of me with my unicorns and my dad.

That brought tears to my eyes, so I left it and decided to really torture myself and look over all of the pictures from the photo shoot. I needed to decide which ones I wanted printed for the family dining room and more.

That was what Darby found me doing out on the balcony before the others woke up.

“Don’t be mad at me, but I yelled at your dad,” he admitted as knelt down next to me. “He didn’t want to leave a mess for you and—he’s a twit. You know this and he doesn’t feel things like we do. He’s a demigod.”

“I’m such a monster for yelling at him,” I rasped. “He’s the one dying and I’m making it all about me.”

“Tams, this is all about you,” he said gently. “You’re the one losing him. He gets to move on and be with his mate. Yes, he’s losing you too, but he made the choice. He doesn’t—he’s not upset about dying. He’s upset to lose you.” He reached up and wiped away my tears. “This is all about you. You’re not being selfish.”

“I don’t know that I can handle this,” I choked out. “I thought I could. I don’t think I can.”

“I know, but you have to,” he murmured. “Because the other option is you watch him fade into nothing, and that would kill you instead of just losing him.”

He was right. I swallowed loudly and nodded. He was totally right.

Fuck my life.

“I will handle everything with Julian,” Darby promised. “We’re going to go around with your dad and get everything in order.” He sighed when I looked at him. “He’s a demigod, Tams. He’s acquired a lot of wealth. Apparently, he forgot about a lot of it and was focused on only you. He…”

I nodded. “He’s acting a bit like a human with dementia and forgetting time.”

“More than that, he’s waking thinking it’s a different time.” He rubbed my arm when I set down my tablet and started crying. “That’s how he’s remembered a lot of it. Julian wonders if it’s not his father helping him and you by getting everything together.” He snorted, shaking his head. “He had a crypt—an actual fucking crypt full of wealth and he says there’s more.”

“Well shit,” I sighed, feeling as exhausted as Darby. “Okay, I’ll—”

“You’re doing none of it,” he said firmly, shaking his head when I went to argue. “Not this time, Tams. You’re about to break.” He cupped my face. “Please,agra?I’m really worried. Go to your meeting with Neldor and—leave this to us. Iolas is going to be helping as well. We can handle this, and you can look it all over later when you’re ready. It’s not going anywhere.”

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