Page 25 of Finding Closure

We had lots of fun. That was the answer. All of us… Except one whose heart wasn’t into it.

7

“I’m sorry about last night,” Lucca said when I went to find him the next day.

“It’s more than understandable with all you’re going through,” I forgave. “I just wanted to make sure I didn’t push you or—”

“No, not at all, cream puff,” he whispered and then gave me a huge bear hug. “I love you, Tams. I’m not mad. This was the right call. We did the right thing, and I know—there’s no resentment here. I just—I feel guilt that I didn’t do it on my own when I should have for you. I hate this is how it ended up and he didn’t take the pass you gave him.”

“I know. I know,” I comforted, hugging him back as he started crying. I kissed his hair and let him know I was there for him. “I wish it had turned out differently too. I was willing to give him that pass if he really turned things around. Maybe he can after paying for his sins. I—he didn’t see it as a pass but invalidating the severity of what he’d done.”

“Yeah, he really did. That’s the perfect way to put it.”

“What can I do?” I asked. “How can I help?”

He sighed and rubbed my back. “I don’t know. Forgive me if I get a bit lost in you? I don’t want to mistreat you, but my head is—I wanted to feel good last night, and—I was selfish and—I can’t backslide either and—”

I leaned back and brushed my lips over his. “You’re not. Lucca, you’re not.” I gave him another kiss. “Now is the time to listen to me, okay?” I waited until he nodded. “You’re not backsliding because we’re talking about this. You’re not brushing it off. You’re not excusing your behavior or demeaning my feelings.

“You’re admitting you weren’t giving me your full attention or your best. I’ve done the same. Yourespect meenough to admit it and apologize just as I have. That’s why this is different. I’ve wanted to get lost in you as well but not been able to focus or worry about your enjoyment. That happens. That’s being there for your partner and I’m not mad.

“You’re going through something big, so you get the pass as long as you keep understanding it’s a pass.” I went on when he flinched, not meaning it to sound pointed after what we’d said about his dad. “And it’s fine. It’s not been months. It’s more than understandable, okay?”

“Okay,” he whispered and pulled me back into a hug, burying his face in my neck. “All I want is you. I keep wanting to just run away and have snuggles with my cream puff. I’ve been listening to how much my dad was really up to, and I just want to wash off all the ick with you naked against me. It’s all—I do want to get lost in you, not just anyone.”

“I know. I felt you there but just lost. It’s really okay, you stupid bear,” I promised, glad when he chuckled. “How about you let Harry out and we have breakfast outside before we have to go be adults?”

“That’s perfect. He keeps wanting snuggles from you too.”

Which was how I ended up eating breakfast from his lap. Goofy damn bear.

When we were wrapping up, I rubbed his snout. “You were the first shifter I ever saw and now you’re my favorite. I have faith in you and that you can get through this. You’re the rightbear to right the ship and get your sloth back on track. Let me know whatever you need and make your mate proud, okay?”

“Fish? Harry get fish like dragon gets? You love Harry now like him, right?”

“I’ll get you some fish from Faerie,” I promised. I couldn’t say the rest. I’d known River longer, and things were different between us. River had always been in my corner—sometimes more than Hudson—and Harry had fought against me and caused trouble.

Not even about the shit with Mason.

“You don’t love Harry like you do dragon.”He sounded so sad that it killed me.

“I’ve loved River longer. Our love is deeper,” I explained. “He never fought me and has always been on my side.” I grabbed Harry’s snout when he went to turn away. “But it’s not a competition. You’re the only bear—the only shifter I love. I have faith in you, and that’s a lot given where we started and how often you fought me.”

He nodded.“Harry was jerk. Fair. Dragon was never jerk to you. Sorry. All confused. Alpha was bad Alpha, and now we be Alpha, but you are queen. Harry not used to that.”

“Yeah, me neither,” I chuckled pulling him down to kiss his snout. “We’ll just keep moving along and making progress. We’ll keep being good to each other and making sure we’re the right team, yeah?”

“Yeah. Lucca very sad. He thinks you’ll leave him because he didn’t understand Alpha was so bad. He cries to Mom that Alpha will cost him happiness.”

“We’ll figure it out. He came through in the end, and that’s what matters.” I moved to finish cleaning up, and then I had a naked Lucca plastered against my back.

“Thank you, cream puff,” he rasped as he held me tightly. “Thank you for always understanding me and giving me thechances I don’t deserve. Thank you for seeing me when others don’t. Thank you for knowing how much you matter to me.”

“Lucca, Lucca wait,” I moaned as his hands moved all over my body and his lips kissed along my neck. I gasped as his fingers went under my panties and touched me, shuddering against him.

That was how we ended up having sex against the wall of my kitchen… And I was late to my first meeting.

“I apologize for being tardy,” I said as I walked in with my security.

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