Page 87 of Running Feral

His reticence is a physical presence in the room. I grab his face with both hands, rolling my hips slowly until I’m grinding down onto his fingers, and look him in the eye.

“I’m nervous, too, Gunnar. But I trust you. Even if I freak out, I think we’ll both feel better once we’ve pushed through it. It’s just one time. I promise, we’re going to do it a thousand more times after this, if I get my way. Who cares if some of them suck? Law of large numbers, baby.”

I give him a shaky grin, hoping I’m selling the bravado thing. I do mean it, though. If there’s anyone in the world I can trust, it’s Gunnar. I’m not giving up on something I know I want, even if it takes a couple tries to get it right.

“Okay. Okay.” He mumbles the words to himself like a mantra. “Just tell me if you want me to stop. Promise?”

“I promise,” I say, breathless with anticipation.

My cock is straining toward him, already desperate to come and with absolutely no regard for my mind’s reservations on what we’re about to do.

Gunnar pushes into me excruciatingly slowly. He starts with one finger but quickly makes it two, teasing my entrance withshallow motions like he’s got all the time in the world. He works his way in, letting my body open up to him, and the whole time I’m stuck writhing and whimpering like a wanton thing, desperate for every bit of touch that he gives me.

“More,” I say, panting into his mouth before kissing him.

“Someone’s greedy.” I feel him smile against my mouth as he kisses me back, then breaks off again to look at me. “Look at you. Doing so well. Riding my fingers, desperate to come and asking me so nicely for more. What a good boy.”

I shiver, and Gunnar lets out a low chuckle that doesn’t help matters in the I-need-to-come department.

My hips grind down onto his hand as he pushes deeper, stroking inside me, while his thumb presses against me from the outside. The second he finds my prostate, an embarrassingly high-pitched whine is pulled out of me.

“Please, please, please,” I chant, practically bouncing on his hand like I’m already getting fucked.

His fingers stroke me inside again, and I can feel the precum trickling from the head of my cock. I’m so close, I just need a little more.

“So needy,” he whispers, although this time it sounds like it’s to himself, almost like he’s in awe.

He moves inside me, stroking and putting constant pressure in exactly the right spot to make the world blur and my thighs shake. I’m so close, but I need more. I need him to touch my cock. I need him inside me.

I need him to tell me I can come.

“Do you want to come now, or with my cock inside you?” he asks, gently finger-fucking me at the same time, like a fucking sadist.

“Hng.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders and pull him closer, still bouncing my hips like I can force his fingers deeper. “More. Fuck. Inside, please. I want you inside.”

“What a good boy,” he whispers, before kissing the side of my face with a gentleness that doesn’t fit with the savage tear of pleasure that his hand is causing me right now. “Good boys always get what they ask for.”

I almost choke, clenching around his hand as my body tries to come, but can’t quite get there. My cock is flexing in mid-air, desperate for contact, and he’s still teasing me like he’s enjoying my frustration.

I whine again when he pulls his fingers out, leaving me empty and gaping. But then he rips open the condom package and slips it on one-handed, exuding the same simple confidence he does with most things, and I feel myself settle.

This is right. This is good.

I want this.

Once he’s positioned at my hole with one hand on the base of his cock, he uses his other hand to cup my cheek for a second.

“Are you still okay?”

“Yes. I promise.” I swallow, then watch the way his bearded throat bobs as he echoes the motion. “I trust you.”

For some reason, it feels even more monumental saying those words than it would have to tell him I love him again. It felt like I needed to repeat them out loud.

He holds my gaze as he pushes into me. The movement is slow and steady but unwavering, just like him. He gives me time to adjust, but no matter how long I wait for the panic to hit, it doesn’t.

Once he’s fully seated, I nod, wiggling my hips a little to make him gasp.

“Good. It’s good.”

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