Page 4 of Running Feral

Sav only grunts in response to my answer, looking as pissed as I feel as he picks up a rack of dirty glasses and starts carting them away to wash.

I can’t stop myself from interrupting him.

“Hey,” I say, making him turn around a little to look at me. “Do you think there’s anything else I—we—could do for the kid that we’re not doing already?”

Sav sighs and shakes his head. He doesn’t even give me any words. He just shakes his head, holding my gaze for a minute, before continuing his march to the kitchen.

“You need to let go of your fixation with this guy. You’re already way too involved. You’re totally powerless to help him and if you try, you could get hurt. The people he runs around with do not fuck around, and you know that.”

Kasia is staring at me from the other side of the bar. Thankfully, it’s still early on a weekday, so no one is close enough to overhear her, but still. I don’t appreciate her pointing out the obvious flaws in my plan when I’m already aware of them.

“He’s just a kid, Kasia. He doesn’t deserve this.”

She moves closer, still holding a cocktail shaker in one hand that she uses to point at me.

“A) Of course, he doesn’t deserve this, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s mixed up with dangerous people who will fuck you up if you try to take him away from them. And B) He’s not a fucking kid. He’s an adult who ended up in a terrible situation. Just like me. Just like the walking wall of muscle you hired, because we didn’t have enough homophobes floating around here already.”

“Sav’s not a homophobe,” I interrupt. “I think he’s been through a lot. I can tell. He needs to be around people who aren’t going to make him feel like he has to stay in whatever toxic criminal box he’s spent his life in. His brother’s gay. He’s coming around, I swear. We’re good for him.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t change the fact that he still gapes at any same-sex couple who shows affection in here. Or nervously averts his eyes. Which are both equally bad. It’s embarrassing.”

“That’s not—” I start, but Kasia continues before I can really figure out what I’m trying to say.

“And like I said, thekid, as you keep calling him, is not a kid. You don’t look at him like he’s a kid. You look at him like you’re aLooney Toonscharacter and he’s a cartoon steak. You can’t even keep your eyeballs in your head and treating him like a child isn’t fooling anybody. Including yourself. So, stop—” she waves her fingers in a circle in my general direction with a humorless grin, “—doing all of this. You’re not fooling anybody. Leave that man alone unless you need to call the cops for him.”

I huff. “Because they’re so helpful in these situations.”

“They’re helpful in not letting you get yourself killed over someone who probably wouldn’t appreciate the effort right now. He has towantto get out, or it’s all a waste of energy.”

“Fine.”

I don’t have anything else to say to her right now. She’s right, but I don’t want to admit it. It’s already annoying enough to know that I haven’t been hiding my stupid, problematic infatuation as well as I thought.

It’s not like I would ever,everget involved with him. Not only is he too young for me—even if he is an adult, like she said, twenty-two years old is still a big screaming leap away from my thirty-six—but I don’t get involved with people who I help. It’s too murky, ethically, and the consequences are potentially too severe if things go wrong.

I learned that the hard way.

“Do you want to close tonight, or do you need to head home?”

It’s an obvious attempt to change the subject, but I don’t care.

“I’m fine. Magdalena doesn’t work until late tonight. She’s leaving her kids with me, and I’ll take over all the child-minding when I get home.”

“I guess that’s a system.”

“Yeah, well, you gotta do what you gotta do. I would rather have a sister I actually see, but at least the kids can hang out with their cousins every day, and no one has to pay for childcare they can’t afford.”

“Fair. If you ever need help, let me know, though. I’m still here for you, even though you’ve pulled your life together on your own.”

She rolls her eyes at me fondly.

“Yes,daddy.” Her tone is facetious, but it still makes me cringe. “You’re first in line to be my personal savior. I’ll never forget.”

“You know that’s not—” I rub at the bridge of my nose, where the pressure of a headache is swiftly forming. Today has been weird and unpleasant. I’m already ready for it to be over. “You know it’s not like that.”

“I know.” The smile she gives me is softer this time. “But I like teasing you, anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You’re hilarious. Go do some work instead of trying to put me in an early grave, maybe.”

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