Page 31 of Running Feral

Like always, the TV is on and the lights are off. But Tobias isn’t on the couch. The fear gripping me squeezes tighter, and Ialmost call out. He has to be here. If Eamon did something, he wouldn’t still be sitting in my fucking parking lot like a ghoul.

No, screw it, I can’t see him anywhere.

“Tobias!”

There’s a sound. A rustling; then the bathroom door opens and Tobias steps out, making my entire body sag with relief.

“Yeah?” He looks me up and down and his face falls. “Oh shit, are you okay?”

My hands are on my hips, and I take a few seconds to concentrate on just breathing and releasing all the irrational thoughts that have been buzzing around my head for the past couple of hours.

“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I got freaked out and overreacted.”

I take another deep breath and make a point of looking him in the eye like a normal human.

Which is the first time I notice that he’s not dressed. He is, in fact, only wearing a towel. His hair is so wet that the dark curls are dripping onto his face, and his skin is flushed from the shower. Well, the parts of his skin that aren’t still covered in bruises.

I’ve always thought of Tobias as small. Not in a metaphorical way, but just like someone who I could fit my hands around. As much as I’ve tried to suppress that thought. But I think it’s actually a combination of the fact that he’s several inches shorter than me and has a tendency to wear baggy clothes he drowns in, even before he was borrowing from my wardrobe. As well as the way he often huddles over and makes himself smaller, shrinking into the background of any room he enters.

The night he first showed up, everything was so chaotic that actually looking at him was the last thing on my mind. Especially considering how swollen and bloody his entire body was. Butnow, apart from one huge, angry looking bruise covering most of his ribs on the left side, the rest of his chest looks mostly normal.

There’s more muscle to him than I would have expected. Not bulk, but definition. The same water droplets that were rolling down his face are also dripping off the curve of pecs and abs and biceps. Proportional to his body and still slender, but all giving a real impression of strength that I wasn’t expecting.

What other parts of himself does he hide away from everyone?

It’s a long, convoluted train of thought that careens me completely off course from what I was supposed to be focusing on, and as soon as I realize that, all the fear rushes back in.

“Shit,” I say, for lack of anything better forming in my brain. “Your ribs look terrible.”

Tobias squirms, and I immediately feel bad for drawing attention to it.

“You look good, though. Overall, I mean. It’s just that bruise.” The words spill out like I can somehow walk this whole thing back, but it definitely makes it all more awkward.

Tobias continues to stand in the doorway to the bathroom, half-naked and seeming caught between wanting to run away and move closer.

“I’m sorry. I’m apparently only capable of putting my foot in my mouth whenever you’re around.”

That gets a little smile out of him. He leans his head to the side, clearly agreeing with me, before moving a few steps toward me.

“So, why did you come in here looking all pressed?”

“Is there any chance you’ll let me not tell you, and accept it’s for your own good?”

“If you want me to put your dick in a blender,” he deadpans while I flinch at the imagery.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. Get dressed and then we can talk about it.”

He shifts his weight from side to side, his unease obvious. The windows are covered, like always, but his gaze still flits toward them.

I realize I have to rip off the Band-Aid.

“Eamon came to the bar tonight.” Tobias doesn’t move, but I can hear the uptick in his breathing, so I move slowly and steadily toward him as I continue to talk. “Don’t be scared. It’s okay. He was looking for you, but I think I convinced him I don’t know anything. He stayed until close and then went and sat in his car in the parking lot. I did everything exactly like I normally would—locked everything, set every alarm, and then came upstairs.”

Tobias wraps his arms around himself, hunching in. His face is impassive, though. I think I can see a faint tremor in his hands, but he’s not letting any of it travel to his face.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s not, I mean. But it was always going to happen. Thanks for taking care of it.”

My brow furrows. I don’t know exactly what reaction I was expecting—shock, fear, even anger at me for trying to baby him. This blank stoicism wasn’t on the list.

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