Page 20 of Jackass

Now they did. They didn’t turn away from me. They still wanted to be there for me, and that meant more to me than they would ever know.

“I’m so sorry, Rachel.” I sniffled.

“Are you ok, Samantha?”

Pulling away from Rachel, I replied earnestly, “I am now. Thank you.”

I looked up and saw everyone watching me.

My eyes connected with Jack.

I could see the concern on his face, but it wasn’t enough to hide his anger. “I need to get Charlie. I need to take her home.”

“Sam, stay here tonight. You aren’t in any condition to drive. You and Charlie can stay in the room you were in.”

I looked over at Blade. What he said made sense, but I wasn’t sure it was a good idea.

“I can’t stay in Jack’s room.”

Jack snorted from across the room. “You’re definitely not staying in my fucking room.”

Blade glared at Jack. “Knock it off, asshole.” He turned back to me and clarified, “The room you were in wasn’t Jack’s. It’s an empty room we keep for guests.”

I took a deep breath. That changed things. I didn’t want to drive home. I was always spent after a panic attack.

“Ok, we’ll stay tonight. I need to call my friend and let her know I won’t be home.”

“Samantha, let’s go get you cleaned up before I take you back to Charlie.” Rachel and Blade helped me stand from the floor.

“This is bullshit.” I turned toward the voice and watched as Jack stormed through the front door.

“He’s never going to forgive me,” I whispered.

“Give him time, Sam.” I looked up at Blade.

“Time can’t fix this,” I protested and walked down the hallway, headed to the room I would share with my daughter tonight.

Tomorrow, she’d have breakfast with her dad and maybe, after a good night’s sleep, he’d be ready to listen. Now I just needed to come up with something to tell him that was halfway believable.

Chapter Four

Jack

“This is bullshit.”

Storming out the front door, I marched across the parking lot and through the gate. I needed to clear my head; however, with the way I was feeling, I knew it wouldn’t be wise to get on my bike.

So, I walked.

I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans and hunched my shoulders. It was an hour and a half before sunset and still really warm. August in Nebraska got fucking hot, not as hot as Arkansas, but still fucking hot.

As I walked down the road toward town, my thoughts turned to Charlie. My daughter. I had a daughter. Four years old, I’d missed four years of her life. Her first step, her first word, her first tooth. I never got to see her birth, never got to gag while I changed her diaper. Never got puked on or shit on. I’d missed it all. I never even got to see her mother’s belly grow big with her.

I thought about Sammy. The night we met in a bar in Little Rock felt like any other night until we got to the hotel. I thought nothing of it when she asked me to follow her, just figured she wasn’t from the area. That’s what she’d said.

Another fucking lie.

When I saw her again, I couldn’t believe my luck. There she was, in The Diner. When I called to her, she froze; she was afraid. Then tonight, she had a panic attack. I needed to get answers, but I couldn’t do that if I didn’t get my anger under control first.

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