Page 91 of The Butcher

Playfulness aside, I know what Clayton’s asking.

Neither of them have pressured me into anything from the very first time we met. They’ve allowed everything to happen on my timeline, save for throwing me to the wolves so to speak when I was left alone with Bramley, but even that wasn’t forced. I could have walked out of the butcher shop and followed them, or gone back to the house sooner. They’ve let me call all of the shots, and right now isn’t any different.

He’s half serious, but if I told Clay and Nash that I was only saying I wanted to see them naked because I was angry and ready to prove some kind of point, they’d go along with that. They might be hurt, but they would, I know that. The thing is, though, I think I’m more ready than I realize.

I’m not sure where something like that would lead, based on my inexperience with anything organic and natural, but I’m attracted to them. I have been from the start, and feeling how much they care about me, seeing it in everything they do for me, and how they treat me, I can’t help but feel like I’m falling. I want the closeness that comes with that.

I want everything that comes with falling for the men I’m supposed to be with.

After a few moments of really thinking this through, a slow smile spreads across my face and I nod. “I think I do.”

“You’re sure?” I nod again and Nash sighs, then gets to his feet and holds out his hand. “I can’t promise you’re going to like anything that’s about to happen, it’s fifty-fifty when it comes to Clay, but I can guarantee it’ll be interesting.”

I let Nash pull me up then lead me out of the nest, my eyes fixed on my hand in his.

I’ll never get used to that.

How something so insignificant, so ordinary as holding hands with someone, makes me feel. I feel seen, important, and for the first time in my life, I feel worthy.

Of what, I’m not entirely sure, but that’s the only way to describe it.

I guess I feel like I’m worthy of being treated the way these men treat me. Which is a little sad since they haven’t done anything that other people, other alphas and omegas, in this kind of situation would consider remarkable, but I do. Their kindness and acceptance, their obvious need to care for me and keep me safe, those things are priceless in my eyes, and they mean more to me than I think they realize.

I think that’s why I feel worthy of being treated that way, of being happy, and free.

It may not be anything that would move someone else to tears, but to me, these men are everything I didn’t allow myself to dream of because all they’ve done for me makes me feel safe, and it makes me feel human.

“Okay,” Clayton says as he stands on the other side of the bed and sets the bag down. “How do you want to do this?”

I frown. “Do what?”

“Well, see us naked, of course.”

My stomach flips and I cover it with my free hand, squeezing Nash’s hand as he climbs onto the bed and leans back against the headboard. I wasn’t really expecting that, not right now. Even though I was literally just thinking about it, Clay’s words still catch me off guard, and have my nerves taking flight. I figured I sped things up some with my behavior, but I didn’t think it would be happening right now after taking a nap in my nest. My nest that smells so much like these two I almost immediately perfumed when I woke up.

No, I had to wait until my alpha said all of five words to me, then my body went crazy and told him more than he needed to know at that exact second.

I need to learn how to control that better. Without scent blockers, I imagine it can be pretty dangerous out in the general public, but constantly perfuming around my mates—I think it’s okay for me to say that more confidently now—no matter where we are, and just because they happen to be mine, is probably pretty dangerous in a different way.

One I might actually enjoy.

Even still, I have to figure that out, as well as some other things that I’m sure will come up now that I’m completely free of any medication. I already feel like a ticking time bomb, waiting for my first natural heat to creep up on me. I don’t need to add perfuming like crazy to the list of things I’m attempting to tackle as an omega out in the wild.

I nearly roll my eyes at that.

It’s true, I’m free, and I’m able to try living a life similar to the one my mother described, but I have no idea what I’m doing, and telling that to these two isn’t an option.

Not yet, anyway.

If I could avoid telling them about my time at the ranch forever, I would, but I know that’s not going to be possible, and I have a feeling someone would eventually put two andtwo together. Most likely Bramley because he’s a jerk, and he’s smart, and he could use the fact that I didn’t tell them as a reason to continue being a dick.

He’d love that, I have no doubt.

“Indy,” Clayton says as I refocus on his face. “We don’t have to do this, or anything, if you aren’t ready or don’t want to.”

“I know.” My frown deepens for a second but then I throw caution to the wind, climb onto the bed, and position myself right between Nash’s legs with a small smile on my face.

My belly rolls this time, my nerves and excitement swirling in my stomach as my heart starts to beat a little faster.

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