Page 53 of The Butcher

The lies are bitter on my tongue, and they fucking hurt, but they’re necessary. I’m just starting to worry that my alpha and beta aren’t ever going to see it that way.

Which is why I turn to look him in the eye and speak slowly. “That female is nothing to me, she means nothing to me, and the sooner you can see that she isn’t worth throwing away seventeen years together, the?—“

Nash doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t fucking think, he just reacts by charging at me full force before slamming me into the wall.

“The only reason I’m not beating your ass right now is because I know you don’t believe that.” He narrows his eyes as he leans in, his chest heaving against mine. “You can’t lie to me, Bramley, no more than you can lie to yourself, and that’s your saving fucking grace. Indy is ours, she’s our omega whether you say the words out loud or not, and nothing is going to change that, so the sooner you get your head out of your ass, the better. The damage you’re doing, it isn’t irreparable, not yet.”

Fighting every single one of my instincts to put him in his place for his behavior, I look Nash dead in the eye and try to keep the last shreds of peace between us. “Back the fuck off, Nash.”

“Or else what?”

“Don’t.”

He ignores my warning and presses harder against me. “Don’t. What?”

I just stare at him, those green eyes full of a fire I haven’t seen before, the toll our situation is taking on my alpha so goddamn clear I can’t deny it, and just when something inside me wants to soften to him, Nash sets off a bomb.

“That’s what I fucking thought.” He pushes off of me, shoving me before he starts backing away. “You know this is fucked, and you’re not willing to do anything about it, not even for me and Clay.” Nash shakes his head, and the hurt he’s feelingslices through me as if it were my own. “You’re going to lose everything, Bramley.”

Pushing my shoulders back, I try to act unfazed even though I know he’s right. “That a threat?”

“It’s a fact.”

“That so?”

Nash nods. “If you don’t change how you’re handling this, yeah, it is.”

“Noted.” My stomach bottoms out over the truth in his words, but I still can’t seem to let this fucking go. “Thanks for spelling it out.”

“We aren’t going to stop spending time with her.” I watch him swallow hard, visibly pulling from some reserve of strength before delivering another blow. “And when it happens, if she lets me…” Nash takes a deep breath. “I’m going to help Indy through her heat, we both are. Nan has been trying to prep us for how to handle it since we’ve never had to before, because it’s going to happen at some point and she doesn’t want us to hurt her or anything. Nan’s doing extra because she knows I’ve never been with anyone but you and Clay, and because…”

The sayingseeing rednever made sense until right now.

It actually feels like the room is taking on a red glow, and the way everything inside me drops and lurches at the same time, it’s making me sick.

They’re going to help her when she goes into heat? And my fucking grandmother is teaching them about what they’re supposed to do when that happens?

I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so goddamn betrayed. Betrayed in so many ways but the most prominent of them is the feeling like everyone who belongs to me is slipping through my fingers while they conspire against me.

Clayton, Nash. Fucking Indigo Rae. Because she’s as much mine as they are, and she’s the piece that will connect us in a deeper way than we already are, but I can’t accept that.

I refuse to accept that.

Which is why I need to leave. I need to get the fuck out of here and stay away. Long term. No more breaks, just a straight up me or her kind of thing. They’re backing me into a corner, and they’re forcing me to make them choose.

But I need to hear him say it.

“Because, why?” My palms start to sweat as my hands begin to shake, something akin to fear starting to creep up my neck over the scenario playing out. “Nan is helping because why, Nash?”

He clears his throat and ignores the way I can see his eyes well with tears. “Because it should be you, Bramley. She’s teaching me because it should be you showing me how to do this, and you won’t.” Nash looks away quickly before meeting my stare. “When the time comes, we should be helping Indy through her heat together, we should be figuring this out as a pack, but you won’t let that happen, so this is my only choice.”

“Your only choice?” I growl. “Your only fucking choice? You can’t seriously believe that.”

“I’m not the only one who does.”

Pulling my mask down so he can see every inch of my face when I do this, I take one step toward my alpha, and take a sledgehammer to the final nail in my fucking coffin. “It’s not your only choice. You have one more to make.” My eyes narrow as his panic starts to physically manifest in front of me. “Me, or her.”

“What?” Nash frowns before my meaning sinks in. “You don’t mean that. No matter what else you’re feeling, you don’t really mean that.”

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