Page 46 of The Butcher

One I’m thankful has long since ended.

A soft knock on the bedroom door pulls me from my thoughts, and has me instantly fighting a smile.

It’s Nash.

Not only do I know it’s him and no one else because Mona doesn’t knock anymore, and Clayton raps his knuckles against the wood in some sort of new and unusual pattern every time he comes to see me, but I can smell his honey and chamomile scent through the door.

He does throw it the way Clayton said, and it’s one of the most calming combinations that has ever hit my nose.

Plus, after weeks of coaxing me, Nash is taking me into town today so I can visit their shops, and see their horses.

Which is really what convinced me to go.

I’ve never seen a horse up close, but I always loved watching them run when I was allowed to go outside. That’s why I agreed to time away from the cabin and in town.

I will admit, Nash was scarier than Clay at first.

He’s bigger, taller, and he has a beard in addition to all of the tattoos, so to look at him, you’d think he was a serious threat. He doesn’t say a lot, not really, and when he does, the mild manner he seems to have actually comes off rather menacing.

But there’s something about Nash, not just his scent, that put me at ease almost immediately.

He’s shy.

For a very large alpha who Clayton kept calling a dickhead, Nash is actually shy, and I get the impression he doesn’t really know how to behave around females.

Well, females who aren’t in their late eighties like Mona, anyway.

There’s a strange level of naivety, an almost innocent quality to his behavior, and while I haven’t gotten into their dynamics or much of anything else in our very few encounters, I’d say Nash hasn’t had many, if any, relationships like what he has with Clayton.

My face flames and I instantly turn back to the mirror.

God, my cheeks are red.

Not that I think Nash and I, or Clay and I, or whoever are going to have a relationship. I don’t know the first thing about any of that aside from what my mother told me of her time with my father. I wouldn’t even know where to start, and it’s stupid to think those men feel anything other than pity when they see me.

But… I can’t help the way my stomach flips when they do come to see me.

After Clay showed me how to buy things online, he came to visit every day.

We didn’t shop every time, we just talked a lot. Well, Clay talked a lot, and I listened because I don’t want to talk about me, I’d rather learn about the things I’ve missed by living at the ranch, and find out everything he’s willing to share with me. Which wasn’t the one thing I really wanted to know, after he showed me his leg I had a lot of questions I wanted to ask and didn’t, but he told me about living in Alaska, and when he met his alphas.

I giggled when he said that, and so did he, but not for the same reason and when he told me he was a beta and he had alphas, I went from thinking it was a funny way of wording things to being excited to meet a beta because I hadn’t before.

That, of course, made me feel silly.

Because not only do I not know what it’s like to be in a relationship, or anything else they obviously share, but I also have no idea how to interact with someone who isn’t paying for my company, so every little thing seems new and amazing. Like finding out there’s a beta in the house I’m staying at, and I proved just how stunted I am by acting stupid over designations and pairings. Which is exactly that. Stupid.

Clayton didn’t think anything of it, though, and took it as an invitation to talk my ear off a couple hours a day, every day, about his alphas until I agreed to meet with Nash.

That was over a week ago.

I’ve lost track of how much time I’ve been here, living in this house full of strangers while I heal, praying that no one kicks me out because I’ve overstayed my welcome, but I know it’s stopped snowing. It’s still very cold but there haven’t even been any flurries since the day I met Clay. And I know I sat and had a conversation with Clayton and Nash a little over a week ago because it was the first time the sun came out since I’ve been here, and I felt some weird shift in energy when it was the three of us.

It’s the only way I can explain it.

A shift.

Not in the literal sense but the two of them together, the three of us spending time in my room, it felt very normal, and like it was supposed to be that way. Even if there’s still a small part of me that keeps acknowledging there’s something missing.

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